Tired, hyper, falling sick but happy

Hi there! Its 4:53am and yet I'm feeling a bit hyper. Its obvious my sleeping clock is screwed up. Think the 2 panadol-Extras I just took are already working. (feeling a flu coming my way, and gosh, I DON'T WANNA FALL SICK.)

Went to Auntie Maleha's newborn grandson's ceremony today. Then to Bubu's house and finally to Bakar Nana's house. Ate tons of oily food (nasi briyani, soft drinks, PANDAN O-TEA (pish, remember this? haha) curry puffs, sugee cake,murtabak and more. No wonder I'm falling sick.

Ok, got a busy day ahead tmr/later. Gotta post some letters, head for more action-packed classes at true Yoga (this is my ideal plan la but we'll see.) then meet Angela for site recce at Hyflux and finally go for MPS to catch up with my beloved mentor. You know, sometimes I wonder why I'm doing all these things at this young tender (23-tender or not?) age, and whether its all worth it and then I realise that hell yeah, I'd rather be busy and try to fully maximize every minute of my life doing smtg fulfilling than be a free slacker with too much time on her hands. Hmm. But yes la, trade offs will always exist, but still, on an overall, I'm happy where I'm at at this point in my life, so Alhamdulillah. Ok, I shall go try to salvage and 'repair' that screwed up sleeping clock right now.

PS: I have a Her world photoshoot on tuesday and its eggcitingg! :) more updates soon.

I'll fly you to the moon and back

I'm sticky wicky. I wanna bathe. I'm excited for the Aussie-NZ trip but at the same time a bit anxious. Hmm. I really wish I was much richer. Then I could easily afford a trip to Europe and the US too or smtg. Sigh, someday, Inshaallah. :)

Yes, such an incoherent post I know. But still. I'm uploading my bday pics on fb as we speak. You know sometimes I think, fb is sucha complete waste of time, especially when you devote time to checking for updates or constantly updating stuff there (posts, pics, comments,etc). Then again, it definitely is a way to exchange views and enhance one's knowledge about the world. Like last wk, I found out (through FB) that Botak Jones has a halal outlet at Simpang Bedok! See, these kinda things make FB a worthy investment of one's time. And yes, I would very much like to go to Simpang Bedok's Botak Jones soon! :) I WILL!

Anyway, just because my mind's in disarray (that rhymes babay! ok ok I shall stop): I wanna share a quote I came across sometime ago: "Intelligence is no guarantee of wisdom". And I agree.The wisest people may not necessarily be the smartest but they probably have a better world-sense and more experience that will aid in decision-making processes. Hmm, just food for thought.

My feet are sore, walked way too much yesterday and today. Had my first 2 classes at True Yoga yesterday, they were the night dance classes at Ocean Towers and they were really fun! I have to admit being a complete lost sheep during the first class, jumping right when everyone would turn left, kicking to the side when everyone would sashay, yes you get the picture, I was LOST. Everyone else seemed to know the dance routines so well, its as if they've got it detailed at the back of their hands! The instructor would play a new song, and automatically like robots, they'd shake, move in such a synchronised fashion that it was both fascinating and humorous to watch. The instructor came up to me too to tell me its ok if I was lost this time round but that in time, I too will pick it up, so yes you can imagine how much I must have stood out. haha.

Ok, so then, today, went to this wedding in Tampines. Then had to rush to try to make it to the OCBC bank in Ion Orchard which apparently closes at 7pm from Mon-Sat. AND I MISSED IT BY 5 FREAKING MINUTES LAH. SUCKS OR WAD. :(( Haiz, sucks.

I just read someone's blog, and sadly I was referred to as that "fellow" in a most hateful way. I was tempted to msg her, to say that I know nothing I say will make her feel better but that I still do hope that she will be ok and that I am here if she needs me. But I realise, nvm la. Nothing I say will help. Maybe its best that she hates me, as long as she can be happy. I think teh best is just to stay quiet and pray for her from behind the scenes. Haiz. Its still sad btw, cos I don't deserve such hatred and vile curses against me. To be honest, I was re-reading my blog entries since I last broke up, and that entire year when I was neither here nor there with Kai, with my status with her totally unstable, nearly all my entries were hellish and depressing. Basically I transformed from this cheery happy go lucy person into a drary sad depressed girl, and I realise that I had paid my dues. Told Susu about it too, and I think its time I moved on. I'm glad I can. She ever cursed me, saying that she hopes I would someday feel what she felt, and gosh that hurt. Cos no matter how much you hate someone, I don't think you should curse that person. But its ok, I will tawakal to Allah, but I really believe that i paid my dues. If she wants to misunderstand, then so be it. I wish her well, still.

wants to go running later. MUST. WILL. CAN. SHOULD.

my blogging mojo has been resuscitated. :)

I love the new layout of my blog. The old one just totally disincentivised me from blogging if you know what I mean. The font was too tiny, at time illegible cos of the weird colour and the posts cramped oddly in a corner. This is WAYYYYY BETTER! Totally revived that blogging mojo man! :D Which is why this is the third entry within a span of hours. Which is a Guinness record by my standards!

ok so what shall I blog about now?

I'm supposed to be reading up on my Soft power reading now, by Joseph Nye.

Anyway let me chart my plans for tmr, here:
1) Wake up at 640am, pray.
2) Bathe, go school.
3) Revise till like 2plus or 3 then go pray. (must complete economic & Coercive diplomacy readings)
4) revise again (Complete crisis reading)
5) 5plus: go pray Asar
6) Revise (Rationality & Bureaucratic politics)
7) Do 1-2 practice qns/papers.
8) Go home.
9) Sleep by 12midnight. (MUST!)

Then paper on Friday at 9am. Inshaallah, may Allah guide me through this paper, Amin.

Then after that hang around till like 2 plus or so in school just to wait for susu to appear n meet her at Clementi MRT. Can't wait to see her!! =D

Then Sat: I have this family function thing (to celebrate my cousin Rina's coming-of-age ceremony. hahaha
Maybe join the YWLC girls for the website meeting too.

Sunday: Meet Rahs at Eunos MRT for tea at 120pm like that, hang out for 1-2 hours. Nadzi wants to pass me her membership card at True Yoga for complimentary classes & gym usage for the next 2 months (May & June!!!) So cool right! Cos she'll be occupied with her exams. Shiok! Can't wait! :D
Tuition at 330pm.

Then I'm like FREAKING FREE already lah! I feel like applying for an internship ah, just for the fun of it. hmmm~ Oh, and I saw THE JOB OFFER of the century! (OK I dunno why I'm so dramatic right now, but it sounds way too cool lah. position of Management Trainee for 2 years or so at BHP Billiton and they'll train you in various roles in line with a programme planned by the Uni of Melbourne. AND AND, you'd either be based in Hague or Singapore, awesome or wad! Hague u know! Netherlands! :D I am SO going to apply!

Old, much? (Already?!)

Wow, I was just reading my blog entries from 2007 & 8, and I REALLY do feel so much older. Where has all that zest for life gone to?
Read this for instance: The younger, cooler, funnier & zestier me!

Ok, I pray that this has got nothing to do with growing old and grey but all to do with this last exam paper. Yes yes, it must be. (It better!!)

PS: on another note, Ri hasn't called me yet. Lets see if he keeps to his contract. (Refer to pic in 2 entries ago) :D

(One) Exam Blue(s)

I have one last paper this friday (not for life la, for this sem, but still..) YEAY! :) Its for my foreign policy & diplomacy module. I actually really did enjoy this module. Its been what, 4 months of studying it, 13 weeks or so of exposure to political science and yeah, I definitely have learnt much. Like one of my readings today revealed that the Women's suffrage rights campaign started in 1848 and by 1930, 20 Western Countries have granted these rights. Following which, over the next 20 years till 1950, 48 other nations followed suit. This proves 2 things; (1) that NGOs can be highly powerful and influential. Cos most of the smaller, developing countries granted women suffrage rights only after domestic human rights groups rallied from support from these large transnational NGOs (who will then in turn lobby for support ) & pressure their own govts to pressure those developing govts. Amazing huh, one long indirect process but mission accomplished! (2) That Norms are still relevant in policy making, contrary to what realists believe.
Realists are all for the need to maximise utility &power and discredit the need for normative & ideal concepts. (This came about in the 1970s-80s especially,in line with the increased push by economists for the need to measure utility.) So, realists tried to measure power in terms of material wealth. Let's face it, sure, wealth is an important aspect in measuring a country's influence and standing in the world, but clearly not the only one right?

There are 4 instruments of foreign policy can be used to influence the actions & behaviour of other FP actors (which includes both states & non-state actors), and they are:
1) Military
2) Economic instrument (Trade agreements, quotas, tariffs, embargoes,etc)
3) Propaganda: To influence not just the domestic public but also foreign publics
4) Soft power: Using culture and other normative concepts to advocate certain behaviour
So clearly material wealth is but one form of power, though arguably the strongest form of power.

Okay, if you can't tell already, this is me trying to revise for my paper. :) hehe. But returning again to the topic on women's suffrage rights. Imagine, it took close to a century before women could truly claim to be equals, but that too just "officially". The fight still persists and glass ceilings are still commonplace and permeate societies. Its amazing isn't it? I know I'm beginning to sound like a Femi-Nazi here but think about it, all that campaigning, rounds of negotiations to persist and claim for equalityand today, we're basking and relishing the fruits of their labour. Really oughta be grateful. :) And continue to prove to all that we do indeed deserve equality and can do as well as our male counterparts.

Here, a picture to commemorate their efforts! :)

Source: http://americancivilwar.com/women/Womens_Suffrage/womens_suffrage_summary.html

Ok, that's all from me today! =)

Its been some time. For those who are wondering (if you're still amazingly tuned in, that is), I havent really been on a hiatus. I have been blogging, just that nowadays, I have reserved most of my entries and saved them as drafts, instead of publishing them. Also because life been an emotional rollercoaster in the past few months. Things are better now, much clearer, and happier(?) even. Hmm, so what's new? Tomorrow I'll be going for Chingay +CityAlive (the street bash after Chingay) from 630pm onwards with the ywlc peeps. I'm slightly behind in my readings, have 2 or maybe 3 mid terms this coming week and I NEED TO DO WELL! (side-note, check out this awesome mix by DJ Andrew, one of the DJs who'll be there tomorrow at the CityAlive party: http://www.cityalive.sg/)
Okay, just some food for thought, was wondering whats up with the Anwar's sodomy trial, and did some googling, and here's what's new, if you're wondering.
Some interesting thoughts here: http://globalvoicesonline.org/2009/07/11/malaysia-anwar-ibrahim-sodomy-trial/

I particularly like the comments and views by Farish Noor here: http://www.thenutgraph.com/article-4361.html
He questions on how despite the wide prevalence of anal and oral sex, Malaysia can be considered to be backdated or 'antiquated' in today's time and age. Personally, I don't think its so much an issue of time and age, as it is of whats real and not. I would believe that anal or oral sex was probably as widely practised as far back in history as we would dare to venture as it is now, of cos I have no evidence, but hey, why the hell should we think otherwise? Wrt Anwar's sodomy trial, what's clear is, to me, its a clear political set-up, and I do hopw that the Malaysians see likewise too. Cos ultimately, the point is, whether or not he's gay/ has strange fetishes/weird by any societal norms, what's important is that will be inconsequential when it comes to leading a country. Yes, I do believe that some will most certainly beg to differ, peraps the idea of having a Gay/bisexual PM say for instance can be discomforting, but hey, why so? Are they more likely to squander off public funds, or less likely to develop their countries on the international front? You would have to agree that being gay/sexuality won't have anything to do with that, no link really. Frankly, if you think about it, of course no one really gives a hoot about what Anwar does behind closed doors, but perhaps the fact that he has in the history of Malaysia been successful enough to at least forge an opposition front to contest the already weakened Barisan Nasional has earned him the alarming attention of his political rivals, and made him yet again, the scapegoat and pawn in yet another strategic attempt to dislodge him. Even if he were to win the trial, and clear his name, what would that mean to the masses? Poor Anwar, I really do think he's been set up.

Other news: US-Tibet talks are according to China, going to severely impact on US-China relations. Personally I don't see what China's problem is. Sure, you're damn important, possibly the world's next hegemon and economic superpower, sure sure, so? Just because you've got problems with your Tibetan neighbour doesnt mean the rest of the world must follow suit. Grow up. Sheesh.

ok i'm watching this christmas movie, dunno what its called, cos i tuned in halfway through the movie. Oh, its called His & Her Christmas. and its those typical 'lets-celebrate-christmas-with-our-loved-ones-cos-life-is-beautiful-and-because christmas is about love and family' kinda movie. And I guess christmas does do that to you, regardless of race or religion really. (at least it does here in Singapore) You can't help but feel moved by it sometimes, especially if you have been guilty of it yourself, of letting yourself be occupied completely by work. and then theres the other typical theme of christmas movies, which happened to be the same theme of that movie i just mentioned. the i'm single and lonely and i have been so occupied with the notion of material success that i feel so sad suddenly during christmas only because this is christmas and everyone non-loser has a spouse or a special someone or at least a family to celebrate it with. even if you did return to your family for christmas, (like all families will during any major festival), they'll ask you why ur still single. like as if it isnt bad enough when you ask yourself that sometimes. when you look around at all the lovey-dovey couples around and ur attached friends and start wondering what it is that they have that you haven't got. And how you justify your preferences. like all i want is a decent, smart enough, pleasant looking funny guy whom i can click with. is that too picky or fussy i ask you? or too choosy? i doubt it really. reminds me of what Leen said the other time when we had this small conversation about how she's still single and I, like all other people immediately popped the question (no i didnt propose of cos) i asked her if she was too choosy/picky. and she gave an answer that i could relate with. Her exact reply was "well it isn;t like I have a whole long queue of guys to choose from". and yeah thats exactly my case too. I mean i'm wad, 22 and I already think I'm facing this same problem. Its common don't you think? How we like to assume that someone who's single is the one who'e choosy, who's picky, or fastidious. Why don't we ever consider the possibility that well just maybe there's aren't many to choose from anyway? that maybe those who are available, those who happen to be interested are the ones we can't go out with just bacuse we don't click and it has nothing to do with being fussy. in fact if the decision of not going out with someone because you cant click wth the person or because you cant see yourself with him is regarded as fussy, then its sad right? cos that would mean u need to change all your preferences for someone special just because you shoul;dn't be single. or maybe there needs to be less of an emphasis on the need to be attached. cos it isnt a crime to be single. but of cos i do believe that we're all made to have a special someone. its how we're made biologically, there is the physical need to be with someone. that's just one aspect of cos, there's also the spiritual need to connect with someone, and the emotional need to share that special close bond with someone. so its kinda like a whole thing, and I think there's also the formula to finidng your Mr. or Ms. Right. He/she has got to be able to connect with you on all levels, and on every aspects, there definitely has to be a balance of cos, but i guess thats exactly how u can get a relationship to last and work. else, it'll just end in a separation OR you just stay single till you meet your jigsaw puzzle piece. :)
Speaking of which, where is my other jigsaw piece??