I feel terrible, this is the last thing anyone should be doing at work-blogging. Or atleast the last thing any intern should be doing when at work. But sorry, I'm gonna have to skive for a little bit, I can't go on making another call to another unknown company and ask to speak to another unknown person who has no absolute idea of this unknown company i'm calling from. I need to recollect myself and speak, or blog about something i know. Its easy to lose yourself in routine. Typing and updating records for instance, steal all your attention so much so that you're completely oblivious to your surroundings, and you're lured into the familiarity of the routine and its monotony that somehow its mechanical nature is alluring, and distracting at the same time. It steals you away from your woes, leaves your mind in some realm that is unknown, so that what is really left of you is really the incomplete you, the subconscious you. Is it then puzzling why those who are most troubled turn to their work for comfort. How they morph into workaholics, not because they are inherently driven to make it big, but because it is above all comforting. The comfort lies not so much in the fact that you are fulfilling your obligations as a worker but evoked more in the brief suspension of your woes.
I do not wish to be a workaholic, because it is easy to lose yourself that way. I need these little breaks to remind myself constantly of what is important and this little blogging stint did just that. Now though, I've got to return to proving my worth for that $800/month they're paying me. Excuse me while I return to the drudgeries of working life..

worklife rants

worklife rants

things I'll never really understand:
1) why most IT managers/executives are unfriendly cold people
2) who think that we're all out to waste their time
3) and that we ENJOY and have nothing better to do other than to call them up

this is what you'll come to realise after nearly 2 weeks of calls made to I.T execs, promoting your company's network services. But really, even if ur not the least interested, there is absolutely no need wadsoever to be unfriendly, or bitchy, or sarcastic. Just express your lack of interest POLITELY lah, it leaves everyone happy wad.

I vow from this day onwards, that should I be an executive or manager someday and I receive calls of the same kind, that I will empathise n LISTEN (*Beyonce's song listennn plays in the background*), or else just kindly apologise. Guess you'll never learn unless you've been through it.

Think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye.

Remember me once in a while - please promise me you'll try.

When you find that, once again, you long to take your heart back and be free -

if you ever find a moment spare a thought for me ...

We never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea -

but if you can still remember, stop and think of me ...

Think of all the things we've shared and seen -

don't think about the things which might have been ...

Think of me, think of me waking, silent and resigned.

Imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind.

Recall those days, look back on all those times, think of the things we'll never do -

there will never be a day, when I won't think of you ...

Its been one week and this song is still in my head. Go watch the Phantom of the Opera!

Because Singapore can be beautiful too.

All photos were taken at Clarke Quay, with a humble Sony Ericsson Hp with no alterations or editing whatsoever.

Live and love

live and love

hi, its a sunday but i must add, a rather uneventful one for me. Finally got around to visiting the kidney patient today, and it went really fast, only because his english-speaking daughter was there. I swear, if I were to ask all those questions in malay, it'd probably have dragged to two hours just trying to translate those english ones into malay n then rearranging them into a COHERENT manner. You should have seen their(the kidney patient n his wife's) faces the first few times I spoke in malay, they were blank and then contorted with confusion, so much so that kai n i couldn't help laughing, n kai had to apologise for my terrible terrible malay. but its not that bad wad, just very karat(rusty).


Yesterday was all good, met up with adilah and hung out at marina square. She's one of those ppl i can totally pour out my heart and bare my soul to, and not be grimaced at or misunderstood. I love her to bits. =) Girl, if u managed to catch that long blog add of mine somehow, n ur reading this, thank you for all, i promise to always be there for you, to the best of my ability.

it feels good to know that i have so many people i can count on, people who don't judge but who are willing to listen and understand. People who even if you don't always talk to, will continue to be there should u need them. People like susu,mairah,adilah,siti,nadz,kai and so many more. I love all of you, even if I don't always say that, and though I can't promise to always be the best fren for you, just know that I'm someone you can depend on, anytime.

Okay, a litte emo. But really, if ur equally blessed, never miss a day without reminding those u love how much they mean to you. Life is really too short to bear grudges, to hide your feelings, to have your love undeclared. Free youself of your inhibitions, and express your emotions. Count your blessings, and take time to appreciate them for all its worth. To all those reading, I wish you'd have a good life. A life you'd never once regret. =)

PS: to Fir, who's back from Taiwan, welcome home!!:D

Shentonway-Broadway Style

Today marks the start of the 2nd week of my internship.For those who are curious,(though i reckon it really doesn't matter if u know this or not), I'm attached to this place called Vanco. It is a MNC providing network solutions to over 230 countries and territories (phew, all that reading up has paid off). Thought I was pretty doomed at first, considering how its a NETWORK provider (READ:Information Technology(IT)!!!) For those who don't already know, IT and I do not have a mutual understanding. I mean, who gives a hoot bout HTML or web servers and routers.

-makes a mental note to bring this up to IT crazy kai-).

Yeah so u get my drift, I don't like IT or computers. BUT THANK MY LUCKY STARS!! I got an internship in no other firm, BUT an IT one. Life sure has this funny way of tossing the weirdest experiences your way.

But okay, I am exaggerating. The internship has been okay so far. It helps that my colleagues(argh, why do i feel so old?!) are friendly ppl.

Yet, there is this something, the overarching hypocrisy, perhaps of a milder version-a slight amount of pretense, driven by the need to be friendly enough yet to maintain a certain amount of professionalism that really gets to me. Its not like they're the kind who want to stab you in your back the moment you've got it turned or anything like that, its just that there is this distance that everyone prefers to leave alone. That is really something I am apparently not accustomed to and would clearly need more time to get used to.

Its like that even when you come to work, simple things like the bus ride to work take on a whole new meaning when everyone's eye-ing everyone else, trying to spot the who's who perhaps from one's working attire (though commonsense should tell u the big names would obviously DRIVE to work or be driven, not by any public transport driver though.)

Each morning, the clicking of heels forms the rhythm and beat of the day (mind you, these "tap-dancers" aren't exclusively females). Office workers take long quick strides, each ending with a resounding tap of their heels which simultaneously becomes the cue for the next step forward- sometimes scaring me at how synchronised it gets. The whole tap- tap-tap, amplified by the thousands of heels on the hard, glossy floor. Blank expressions portraying thoughtless minds. Minds that have already grown accustomed to the mechanical nature of working life.

It is highly, no, grossly perturbing. It fills me with dread thinking if I'd suffer the same fate once I graduate.

They say you've made it big if you land yourself a job in Shentonway, I say its no easy life handling the dual role-play in Shentonway. That of the office worker and the actor-Shentonway Broadway style.

birthday bash

Disclaimer:This post was saved as a draft for some reason, and I'm finally doing it justice by posting it NOW, a good 5 days overdued.So yes, read this basi piece of news, if u dun mind. :)

started off thinking that i was going to have a surprise party(because of someone's fishy behaviour) :D. haha, which didn't exactly turn out THAT way, but it was nonetheless still very sweet. Went to East coast on the eve of my birthday and surprised with a whole chocolate cake!

We tried miserably and desperately to light the two candles on my cake, but alas, twas' in vain because of the strong wind and the lousy candles. Talking about two candles, these were the two TALL BIG type of candles, which means i'm 20. ALREADY. No, i don't need anymore reminders about how old that is. How does it feel to be 20? Well, old really. Anyway, we headed to Simpang to have supper after that. It was about midnight already, and that place was still bustling with food-lovers. Amazing business la, owner must be damn rich. I wanna have a F& B business someday too!

Anyway, I must say I am really overwhelmed by the number of people who bothered to wish me at 12 midnight, that was awfully sweet. It's almost as if you guys were counting down to my birthday! hehe. Especially the messages from overseas (though the time difference would really mean that your twelve midnight is my 2am, but yes, it was much appreciated!) :D And thanks to all the rest who remembered too! Love u guys!!

My eve of my birthday/midnight to wee hours of my birthday celebration was great, and I have only one person to thank. You know who you are, so thank you! I won't forget this, ever! :)

On the actual day of my birthday(yesterday), I started the day with visiting the house of this man who is undegoing kidney dialysis. Its part of this volunteer drive I signed up for where I on the behalf of MKAC(Muslim Kidney Action Association) will pay a visit to the homes of these kidney patients and do a general inquiry of their current situation so that proper aid can be offered, be it financial or emotional support. In other words, here's my virgin stint as a social worker. I was damn excited lah. Went with the other partner( Ajay) who was also assigned to this 'case'(i hate the word case, its so impersonal, almost like the objectification of people, but pardon the usage, for I lack the knowledge of a more appropriate word). Alas, all that excitement died when we realised that the guy wasn't home. So yes, I left a note and he called like the moment I got off the MRT. hahahaha. oh WELL. we'll revisit next wk. I must add that we chatted with this charming old lady who was the neighbour of this guy we were supposed to visit. Thank God she could speak malay, cos I was struggling so hard to put my limited mandarin vocab to use. Our conversation somehow developed into her thinking that I'm from the SPCA. hahaha, hilarious. I haven't mentioned this before, but i love the elderly, they're all somehow very cute. Think its the influence my grandparents have on me. =)

Speaking of grandparents, my real bday celebration was with my mum,grandparents and aunt. We went to the Swensens outlet at Crown Prince Hotel and it was reeaallyy crowded! It was nearing 10pm. Anyway, my grandparents happily ambled in and got themselves seats, *much to the displeasure of those queuing outside*. But really, my grandparents, cant stand or wait for very long, so we kind of explained to the manager about that, who was really nice and understanding. And so we beat the queue which was a great start! Ordered food, and soon started feasting. The staff were really helpful! The manager who helped us, Jay and this other assistant Manager from Philippines, Louie were in particular great help! They epitomised good service(you'll soon understand why).

Okay, anyway so my aunt and I ordered the Firehouse, which, for the benefit of those who are clueless, really is ice cream with a candle on it, with loads of dry ice to create this 'smokey' effect. =) ANYWAY, so we ordered it, and Louie asked whose birthday it was, cos' apparently if it was your birthday, u could get it for free! yeayy, so $10.80 deducted from the already hefty bill! THEN, when we got the Firehouse, Jay came around asking whose birthday it was. So yes, we were just about to dig IN, when to my surprise we were surrounded by a whole group of 6-8 managers! All carrying balloons! What a surprise!:D I was asked to stand, and everyone of them sang in the loudest voice possible accomapnied by the background singers comprising the other fallow patrons. hahaha, damn funny, but it sure madre my day! Two thumbs and two big toes up for the EXCELLENT service! Especially since they had no qualms doing it despite being obviously busy. -By this time those queing were shooting daggers with their eyes.-

Oh and I even got a balloon! So yeay, I had a great birthday! :D

you know you're getting old when...

people your age are getting married. Which is why, I for one, feel ancient.

My cousin who's (*hold the edge of your seat and hold your breath while you're at it*) 19, yes NINETEEN this year, got married today! aiyoooo.. here i am, her soon-to-be 20 year old cousin, left feeling like an old spinster. AND, another close friend of mine, Kalam is getting hitched next year as well.He's 23 next year by the way. His girlfriend, or rather fiancee wants their wedding to be celebrated in a grand manner- at Orchid Country Club. Fuyooo~ but its understandable la, its not like its an everyday or even an annual affair,but a once in a lifetime thing. Besides she's young, its obvious she would want her night as a Queen to be a grand, majestic one.

Anyway, I'm still reeling from all the excitement I had today at the ROMM(Registry of Muslim Marriages). This was the first time ever I got to witness the 'nikah' ceremony. ('Nikah'=the wedding solemnization proceedings done in accordance with the Islamic laws) Usually I'd just get to attend the wedding ceremony and celebrations after the 'nikah' when food is provided, which for the information of the non-muslims, is really done for formality's sake. The real wedding is over the moment the guy takes the oath in front of the Uztaz, or more commonly known as the 'Tok Kadi' to promise to take good care of his wife. This is also the time when the Tok Kadi informs and reminds the soon to be wed couple of their responsibilites as man and wife and how they should constantly put their heart and soul into making their marriage work. This is done in front of 3 witnesses.

There we were squeezed in a tiny room -the office of the 'Tok Kadi' at ROMM(check out the photos!), and I swear that this whole brief solemnization process, was indeed a solemn and emotional one(for me atleast). This was especially so when the groom had to promise to take good care of his wife, and when he had to repeat the words of the Tok Kadi which acknowledged the fact that should he fail to provide (financially) for his wife for 4 months, or hurt her in any way, be it physically or emotionally or to humiliate her in any way, he would, at that point be deprived of his rights as a husband and their marriage will at that point be annulled. If I didnt control myself, I would have teared upon hearing those words. They were just so moving, reminding me of what a beautiful religion Islam is. One that seeks above all, to protect the rights of women.

All this marriage talk makes me feel like getting married this instant. Hahaha. I lack the most important factor though, a potential husband. My ideal wedding will be one where I don't only get to celebrate my love for my husband, but allow all other couples to celebrate theirs. It'd be a night to celebrate love and rejoice in the fact that we're amongst those who are fortunate enough to love and be loved. =) man, when will it be my turn?

May God bless this married couple with lifetime happiness! Amin~=)