Grown

Something wayyy freaky happened today but I won't talk about it cos the mere thought of it gives me the jitters. Just a couple of minutes ago, some of these long MIA relatives popped by for a visit, and I remember them. I used to visit their house wayy in bukit batok and be that PLUMP, fat, cchubby round little girl everyone used to dote on there. Haha, and now everyone's grown, the 'teenager' aunts and uncles all have their own families many with kids already, and here I am feelin old, at 20. GOD, no 21, this year. And like all realtives who have been MIA for quite some time, they pointed out how much I've changed, how much I've grown and how it seems like it was just yesterday when I was that round plump girl. Haha, its a wonder, isn't it? Everybody says the same thing, and I'm not doubting those words, of cos they're true. Heck, when I look at those photos taken when I was younger, I realise how much I've changed TOO. And, I think I've changed ALOT, to say the least, not just physically and all, but of cos emotionally, spiritually and mentally, yes I HAVE. haha. But what's funny is, when u live with urself for everyday of ur life, u don't notice these things, u fail to realise how every small little step, every second passing has done wonders and milestones in ur growth process, how the span of the very last minute alone could have had something to do with how ur hormones have decided how ur going to look like and be like when ur older, say 20 years from now? Who would have known how each little decision, how every small passing thought would have contributed and been that unique, irreplaceable moment that shaped you to be exactly the way you are, no way less, or more, or different. But of course, then once in a while it strikes you, like when u get ur driving license, or when u turn LEGAL at 21 (*sob*), how much u REALLY have grown. But these are just small landmark achievements and there were so many more not so obvious moments and events that we forget or overlook. But all the same, doesn't it amaze you how much we've all grown? I really am. Sometimes when I look at photos of when I was younger and it seems like the young me is looking at me NOW, I wonder if I could ever imagine that that would be how I would turn out. Cute eh, imagine the present you going back into the past to see the young 'old' you, what would you have said to yourself, "hey, don't worry, u'll be fine?" or would u have warned the past you to avoid doing some things that you regret having done in ur past? But that would work against the law of nature see, if you manage to warn the young you (in the past) to avoid somethings u regret having done, then, the present you wouldn't be who you are right now. Simply put, had anything in ur past been different or turned out any different from the way it turned out, you wouldn't be yourself. Would that be ok? Its almost like losing yourself for a better you, except this begs the question of what constitutes the Self, of which I will not discuss about, cos that will involve a great deal of philosophy i dun feel quite up to at this point.
Oh btw, school's starting in like a couple of days! I'm just very bo-chap about the whole thing. Thank Goodness the bidding system has decided to be less of a bitch this time, and I've got all my modules, though it really was because of some other circumstances. But well, I'm happy and excited almost, to do my best this time round, Inshaallah, and because I've GOT an event to plan! woo hoo! Actually my whole Aerobics team does. Its this mass Aerobics event for about 300 ppl called 'Hyperjive' thats scheduled to happen somewhere in August 2008 (Inshaallah, if everything goes according to plan), and so we're busy sourcing out for the possible venues, the sponsorships, tentage, sound system, tee shirts, yadda yadda yadda. Its really exciting lah! First event! =) And then there's the MJC dance concert that I'm involved in as an alumni member. That one will take place on the 28th of Feb at Victoria Concert Hall. Tickets selling at $18, so how, anyone interested? =)

OH, and I've got a new FAVOURITE author! Jodi Picoult. She rocks my literary world and my heart. The only writer thus far, besides J. K. Rowling and a few others, who've managed to leave me in awe, breatheless, get me blushing., laugh out loud, leave me sad AND give me the creeps ALL in a span of a few hundred pages. How can anyone write such superb stuff. I feel like I was born to read her books. If I could write, I would want to write every bit like her, with emotion, empathy and an acute sense of awareness of current trends, events and issues. I HIGHLY recommend her book, 'Second Glance". It will leave you breathless. Although the ending was a bit too rushed, but well the rest of the novel made up for that.

So anyway, I'm off now. Anxiously waiting to talk to someone who's out now. Boo hoo. I'm a lil nervous bout the dance 'audition' thing that we've got to put up for Zaki tmr, hope he's kind. Haha, take care everybody! Stay happy!=)