This is my 2nd entry in a matter of hours, and that screams "NO LIFE" but frankly, that's how it seems like right now. Me here at work, doing nothing. It feels like time has taken a stand-still. My half of the office is soul-less, except for me if you count a dead-like blogger as soul-ful, that is. The receptionist who's always a cubicle away, usually offers some kind of comfort with her tapping at the keyboard or her frequent phone calls. Even if we rarely talk, atleast there's some hint of life.But she has taken half the day off today. So now, its just me down here. I've blog-hopped to every person imaginable's blog and I feel like puking. At my disgust at having nothing to do and at the fact that I blog-hop when I have nothing to do. Thinking and reflecting is fine, but it was puke-inspiring after a while too.

Just now, I made my way to the toilet for the first time today, expecting to see my hair messed up akin to that of a deranged woman, but it was quite okay. I almost instantly wanted to try to puke because I felt so sick at that point. Reminds me of those movies where the actress gets too tired and stressed up over some huge impossible problem, and it takes a toll on her half -way through a routine day at work, s she escapes to the toilet and stares down at the sink before splashing some icy cold water onto her face. -How I know the water is icy cold is besides the point, its just supposed to add on to the discomfort of the whole situation-. Even now, as I ramble on, only my fingers and a little of my fore arms are moving, oherwise, I swear I would resemble the non-moving, stationary artistes in front of paragon.

So anyway, I want to talk about this epiphany I had quite sometime back. It was about how I realised that love was unnecessary, atleast that between Man and Woman (NO NO, not as in heterosexual vs. homosexual love BUT heterosexual love vs. family love AND the ephipany was really to prove that the former is unnecessary, rather than to comparewhich amongst the two is more required), and that we're inculcating the need for it, because of the insecurity that is inherent in us, or the wish of being comforted that lies embedded in us. But that ephiphany was so clear and justified that I was so moved by its profoundness, and immediately vowed to share it with Rohani. I'm not sure why specifically Rohani, but yes Rohani. I'm not sure if I got to anyway, and I'm not sure if I do explain it now, it'd seem logical or believable, even to myself. But it was so well thought out then, that I couldn't think of any point for what its worth to debunk it. So, do you think that way? Do you believe that we don't really really need to love and be loved, but it is that insecurity or need to be complete feeling that drives that want or "need"? But if this is the truth, that it is really the insecurity of what we are and who we are, that propels us to look for love, then does mean that we can shed this need if we feel otherwise? Or that nearly everyone, or everyone feels that similar ounce of insecurity so much so that love becomes a prerequisite in life? So, if thats the truth, that everyone does feel insecure about themselves whether they're aware of it or not, then perhaps the question of why we need to love and be loved at the same time, is really inconsequential. Because we do, and so it really doesn't matter why that is the case. I don't know if you're still following my line of argument or perhaps it got way too wordy and convoluted mid-way that you've already exited this browser. But I don't know, whatever you think, its probably worth a thought, no?
I feel like my life has grown so stagnant, its barely ever going to move. And I can't remain like this forever. This is really quite depressing. I think it must be the cold ac and the dead atmosphere here.