Relativity

No, I haven't decided to do an analysis on or a discussion of Einstein's or Galileo's principles of relativity or any other scientist's relativity concept for that matter. Not that I know enough to wanna discuss bout it anyway, haha. Anyhow, the relativity that I wanna talk about here, is also a force albeit of a different kind, but equally pivotal as Einstein's milestone discovery and is in fact dominant and constantly at work in our lives. Like how happiness is relative, success is relative, sorrow is relative, prices are relative. Everything really. Including you and I.

Imagine being in a clothes store (like the shop whose name rhymes with khairah), where everything is tagged at $75 and above, suddenly you catch sight of a simple cotton top that's $29 for instance, and that suddenly seems much cheaper than when ur in a shop with everything going at $29. Or when you're troubled and down but everyone including urself expects you to snap out of it, bcos compared to the woman in the Darfur terror-stricken region, you've got it much better. Life is all about relativity if you think about it.

You can be smart, but if everyone else is smarter, then hey, ur smart may not be that smart after all. Thats reflected in the whole bell curve system in our Singaporean universities (not sure bout SMU though). But before you race ahead of me n deem this entry as yet another piece aimed at pin-pointing the flaws of the bureaucracy, just wait or dismiss that thought away altogether, cos its not. I just think that its strange how everything is so relative to everything else. Strange yet not incomprehensible I suppose. Cos how else would we derive the basic yardsticks or benchmarks to help us take a stance n 'review' something. Puts the saying "No man is an island" into a whole new perspective.

Yet, this need to always compare can be misleading, grossly inaccurate and not worth following. I mean, so a woman in Darfur is pained, heartwrenched and devastated, -God bless them- , I mean who wouldn't be with the kind of things happening there? And put an adult lady from a more prosperous country, say Singapore or New York, who's just lost her wallet for instance and is feeling really miserable about it, obviously the latter's woes pale in comparison. But why should it? I'm not saying it is a BIGGER or equally big heartpain to have lost your wallet as contrasted to losing your chastity or loved ones. Hell no, make me choose and I'll gladly lose my wallet anytime, and no I'm not biased, take it from me, a woman who just lost her wallet, containing her I/c, mastercard,matric card, ATM n what-not bout 2 months ago. Why I'm saying this is really cos, no comparision can be a fair one, especially when it concerns feelings, experiences and people. Simply because no two people are the same. So yeah, the New York woman who just lost her wallet may be equally pained as that Darfur woman. Again I emphasise, I am not belittling the pain and misery these poor women in Darfur have to undergo on a daily basis. Let's pray for them, really.

But I suppose, comparisons make life convenient, gives us the capacity to infer and make wise judgments, nevermind the fact that they may not be accurate at all. 'If-everyone's-doing-it, -why-not me?' mentality at work here. Good to remember that not everything has an objective perspective to it, that sometimes some things really beyond our capacity to judge.

Why I'm saying all this may have a link, direct or indirect to all thats happened lately in my life. Some happy, some painfully heartbreaking. Happy news first: I'm about to be the new President for Aerobics Subclub. :) Absolutely thrilled, though I still have this inkling of a suspicion that I may not have been the first choice (haha), but well, its a big honour, and yeay to a more stellar resume, Inshaallah. Sad news though overwhelms any possible happy news I may have. A growth measuring 7cm in diameter was found in my grandpa's liver about 3 weeks ago. Tests were done only to find, last Monday that it is cancerous, malignant and in the advance stages. The doctor has given my grandpa a maximum of 3 months. I have nothing else to say, but please, I don't need sympathy darlings though I've never once doubted your concern. Just, if you do care enough, please take your time to pray that my grandpa will be bestowed with endless blessings and happiness, and that there is minimal pain. I can't exactly explain my emotions, I've not cried thus far, only teared, and I hate it. Shouldn't one cry their eyes out when you hear such news? Reminds me of the time in TKGS when one of my friends was diagnosed with leukaemia, I remember everyone of my friends crying so much, and there I was cursing my stone of a heart for being so hard. I would love for the tears to flow, but really the tearless eyes and solemn face mask the pain inside.

To the handsome man I've always loved:

I love you grandpa, for everything you are, and for everything you've done for me. Like the mornings during my first two sems in NUS when you will wake up early, despite the pain just to make me breakfast and watch me leave for school, or the many times you'd readily give me cash, using the "If you don't take, I'll be damn sad tactic" that works all the time, and for the endless cow, monkey, goat and bird sounds that you've impersonated that never fail to crack me up and the many many, Japanese stories, of the time you played soccer with Lee Kuan Yew and all the funny jokes. Oh God, how badly I'll miss you. You've been an angel, Grandpa, no less than that. I'll miss you terribly when you're gone but I promise that I'll make you proud no matter where you are, and that I will fulfill the many dreams you had for me and for our family. I love you Mr. Mohamed Ghouse, I wish I could say "please don't go", but I suppose Allah has better plans for you. Wait for me up there in the Heavens. I hope to join you there in 40-50 years. Inshaallah.

Love, warm hugs and kisses,

One of your loyal fans, your Granddaughter Khairah :)