There's a silver lining to every rain cloud, a good to every bad.

Those who choose to see it, will. Those who don't, won't.

Eh, I like my title. Its original btw. OK, big deal, as though its soooo hard to come up with something like that. ANYWAY, I'm happy. like lightheaded kinda happy, like bouncy-skippy kinda happy, a little lilt to my walk kinda happy. It feels good to be happy, to know that I have got so much to be thankful for, for love, for peace, for family, for my loved ones, for hope, for dreams and for every small little thing that makes it all right. Today, my Stats lecture which began at 10am, ended at 11:25am and I was punctual for once. Only because I was supposed to go for a make-up german lecture with Frau Geiser at 8am today, but being the never punctual person that I am, I woke up at 730am. But I didnt give up hope then, I jumped out of bed convinced that I could still make it to school for her class, I was planning to take a cab when I realised that by the time I was all showered and ready, that it was 7:56am. I mean seriously, not even a flight would have been able to get me to NUS in 4 minutes ( I mean if you count boarding time and all lah, unless its a private jet, but even then, I'm sure it'd take atleast 10 minutes eh?) So yes, I gave up THEN, at 7:56am. I'm like that, never practical, over-ambitious to the point of being delusional, but frankly speaking I kinda like me that way though it'd definitely pay to be more realistic.

Anyhow, after my stats lecture at 11:25am, I had another 6 hours 35 minutes to kill before the other make up german lecture that I had no choice but to go for, since I can't make it for tomorrow's slot because of the welcome tea. I was planning on rotting, stoning, spacing out, sleeping, drooling, dreaming, stoning, thinking and stoning (yes alot of stoning). I mean what else would you do? I need to study badly, what with my heavy involvement with Aerobics and the planning of the welcome tea and all, but I just couldn't, ah well atleast I managed to revise a bit of German.
Speaking of which, I'm taking German 3 now. DON"T ASK ME WHY. Frau Verry asked me why (no, she didnt single me out SPECIFICALLY to ask, I'm not that lousy lah, haha but she was asking us all one by one) and my reply was, "Ich finde die Deutsch sprache auch sehr interesserant."- directly translated would be " I find the German language very interesting". THAT is the generic answer every "Damn, why's she asking me this" kinda student would give for sucha question. The all safe, politically correct, lets smoke-through-this-one and not stir up too much controversy else she'll push more dauting german gibberish my way and let's just stay low key kinda answer. Okay, if you find German ineteresting, go ahead take the intro course, but finding it interesting will not give you the good grades you need for it, you need to have conviction, a strong reason for wanting to do German 3, not something as vague as "Its interesting" (smiles politely, curtseys and scrambles away). Bleargh, I dunno why I'm so hard on myself over one stupid answer but I am not doing German 3 because I find it interesting. Okay maybe I do, but its not the quintessential reason, and thus and therefore should not be offered as the answer to that type of question which is obviously looking for the prime, de facto reason. I am doing German because I believe that I should complete what I started on, that you cannot claim to know a language right after one or two levels of language modules and that being multilinguistic is a talent and skill not everyone is fortunate enough to acquire. I have a reason, a strong one, many strong ones. Thing is, I would have gladly told her all these with confidence, conviction and passion, just so she knows I am not the typical run-off the mill "German's interesting" kinda student, I WOULD HAVE(!) had she not asked me in German. :S

apa dah. hahaha. Okay, I wanna type in German, practise a bit , shall we? Ich bin sehr mude und jetzt habe ich ein schwierigkeit. Ich vermisse meine Opa. Er ist jetzt zu krank und hat viel Schmerzen aber ich kann nicht er besser und gesundlich machen. Opa, du bist einem gud Man und immer denke ich an dich. Ich liebe dich zu viel. Ich wisse du bist jetzt sehr krank und nichts sage ich kannst du hilfen, aber ich bete du wollst heilig. Ich liebe dich Opa. Morgen mochte ich besuche dich in das Krankenhaus,Inshaallah.

My goodness. There must have been a billion mistakes in that short passage. I was just talking about my grandpa and how much I miss him. Have I mentioned that he has been experiencing immense pain lately, and its crushing to see him in so much pain. Doctors are going to be putting him on morphine pretty soon. I can't bear to see him in so much pain. They say patients facing the final stages of cancer will experience pain like no other, whose immensity can only be open to the imagination. I'm constantly imagining on how painful it must be, maybe like a bad bad tummyache except 20 times intensified, combined with the pain of severe migraine intermingling with the pain one feels during constipation? These are the only kinds of illnesses and pain I've had to bear thus far, and imagine how trivial these must be in comparison to the morphine needing pain induced by terminal liver cancer. God, this is painful, watching him in so much pain, please, I pray that you have mercy and alleviate his pain ya Allah, for he's a good man, he really is.

It must be tiring to read this, what with the emotional vexation it evokes and the dramatic swing from a happy beginning to a sad closing. But no, it won't be a sad closing for I am still happy. I love my life, my grandpa, and Allah for giving us time to let him go cos only He knows how if he should snatch my grandpa away without any prior warning, how it would rip the life out of all of us. So, thank you Allah, but please help ease this pain that he's feeling.

Okay, smile people. I love you all. :)