updates, updates..

ok, its been some time since i last blogged, but here, i'll tell u what i've been doing in the past few days..

Tuesday 24th apr

so i had the legal paper today, n realised that whatever Prof Tay promised turned out right- i) that whathever she promised WOULD come out, DID come out, AND ii) that we'd have insufficient time to finish it. you know, thats the suckiest thing, to know you could have aced a paper, but can't because you've got NO TIME. bleargh~ k the next day..

Wednesday 25th apr

ahh.. the day before my FNA paper. woke up n realised much to my dismay that it was half past twelve noon. n studied, FNA. wad else la right..

Thursday 26 apr

yes the much awaited financial acctg paper.this is getting boring eh. ranting bout papers. just one thing to say. acconting's NOT my cup of tea. NEXT.

Friday 27 apr

woke up late, pulled out all my formal looking shirts pants, got them ironed before i chose the black one. it was my LAW imterview at smu la. supposed to be there by 1115am, boarded a cab at 1105am. Thank God I live nearby. Stupid taxi driver dropped me off at the econs n social sciences building, despite my insistence that it was nowhere near the school of law. The campus is confusing la, n despite the whole open campus in the heart of the city concept, i still prefer NUS. anyway, waited for a whole hour or so before we even got to do the 15 min essay.(?!) what la right.. oh there were 5 qns to choose from, n nothing sat well with me besides the 4th qn which went smtg like this:

Task without passion is drudgery

Passion without work are just dreams

Work and passion mean happiness and success

Something along those lines lah. It was a one pager essay for me which was not bad considering how many others only had a quarter of the page filled(yeah i peeped). THEN, the nerve-wrecking interview. heard some nasty things about the interviewers like how they'd grill, steam and bake before deep-frying ur ass. And, i've got to admit the interview was pretty tough.Two interviewers, three interviewees. Asked things like whats the most fun thing we've done in the past 6 months. Which I stupidly claimed was my job at The Natural Source. The other interviewee talked about how he climbed what 6 mountains in 9 days n this other girl talked about how doing nothing has been the most fun thing. so yes, it got to a point where one of the interviewers asked me to assess him( like how I'd assess my customers). oh well,i dun think i'd get a call la, especially not when they're choosing a measley 90 from a good healthy 1096.

after that i actually went back to schhol to study for my managerial econs paper. studied till like 10 plus. kai drove to school with a packet of chicken rice for me at ard 9pm. Which was completely sweet of her. thank u so much!! what would i do without u. :) n she sent me home after that.

saturday 28th apr

i can't seem to remember what i did. :S oh yes! watched wild hogs with kai at PS. which is a MUST WATCH feel good kinda movie.Its got what all good movies should have- love, family, life, dreams n how we should always be driven by passion. And whats best, its guaranteed to crack u up, seriously! go catch it if u haven't already.:D

sunday 29th apr

sunday was food galore day. donuts, chocolate croissants, baby biscuits(yes,baby biscuits),fries,cheese sandwiches. having good food always means its a good day. my sleeping hours are totally messed up,didnt sleep for the whole of sat n on only slept from 10am-12noon sunday. before kai forced me to get out of bed n we drove down to parkway parade. did some shopping at giant. then headed down to east coast park.come lets view some photos..

1)me n kai

2)the beach at night

3)me posing with my,sorry, kai's car. :D

alright.. thats it for today. toodles.

exam blues

in school right now, and i'm proud of myself (sort of), for dragging my ass all the way to school. i've even photocopied some chapters from a law book for my legal paper tomorrow. but alas, instead of reading it, here i am once again blogging. for wad? no reason. this whole blogging thing is a huge distraction la. and i'm easily distracted. maybe i shouldnt have brought my laptop along. bleargh. haha, lets talk about something interesting. theres this photocopy lady in the biz library ( the indian one) those of u who have been to the biz lib, you'd know who she is. yeah well, u know how she always looks like a lioness, ready to pounce on her prey(those who screw the machines up, ok that didnt sound right) those who misappropriate the machines(better?) well, today i saw a different side of her. a nice side of her. she was laughing & joking(!) with this other librarian. hahaha, everybody's got a lighter side i suppose. so yes, moral of this "i dunno what i'm blogging about blog entry, but i'll still try to wax lyrical anyway" is: don't be too judgmental of people.

Thank you for reading this entry, those whose exams are around the corner, all the best! :D

sympathy for the angst ridden

its amazing how fast the media reacts when tragedy strikes. look at the outpour of articles, comments, tabloids revolving around the Va Tech shootings for instance. How so many are expressing their hatred for the Va Tech shooter, Seung-Hui Cho. Yet amidst the many who only see the surface of the problem, and whose only wish is to vent all that anger and frustration to a name, to a face ( the shooter), there are a few who are seeking to find the root of the problem, which really is the reason for such angst, the cause of such pain of the man guilty of the shootings. It must have taken such intense hatred to want to kill 33 people, not just ruining their lives but also that of their families in the process, but also to deprive yourself of your dreams, your aspirations and what could have been for you. We are after all, all selfish individuals. which is why the Va Tech shootouts, like many other suicide bombings are so saddening. It evokes grief because it is then that we realise that there are a few amongst us who are so embittered, angered, beyond redemption(?).

Peer pressure, racism, social class exclusivity, these are just some of the possible problems that could have put Seungg-Hui through so much pain. But can we ever know?

i was reading the reports, and I read some of the comments of his ex-lecturers, saying things like how he had always been a violent individual with warped ideas. There, the need to accuse, did anyone ever think what could have given rise to those 'warped" ideas? Of course not, it would be far too inconvenient anyway. Why bother to include the weird one anyway? Im not saying that its okay to go shoot and kill 33 people, but I just think more could have been done to prevent it.

From the legislation of arms to becoming a society who embraces all individuals, even the different ones. That said, I have to concede that there are some weirdos who are obssessed with the idea of seeking revenge for their pain and who are beyond any kind of help. But still, we never know unless we tried.

There is so much to do, but where do we start? I think before we point fingers and accuse, let us start with ourselves. Let us be generous with our support, kind words and motivation. Think of the weird ones in your class, your school, your community(whatever), make an effort to talk to them, reach out- for all you know they may be very different from what they seem. Who knows, you could very well have changed the fate of another embittered individual whose last resort may otherwise mirror that of Seung-Hui.

Don't spoil my day and then ask to make up for it. It doesn't work that way.

the question:

How would you verify that the mutants identified by phenotype in your screen are true loss of function jaw-d mutations?(2 marks)

exam tension reliever

too lazy to blog, so here are random photos.heh.

posing mairah, me n wany(ju's surprise party)

my gorgeous darling =)

when she finally realised it was a surprise

Shootouts in Virginia Tech

latest news: about 33 were killed in the university of Virginia Tech today. Some of whom were students, obviously. Makes me thankful to live in a country like Singapore where arms cannot be purchased by the public. makes me feel a whole lot safer, and thankful. The US is obviously really big on having freedom of rights, freedom of speech, freedom of everything(short of growing a beard and looking like Osama i suppose). But the freedom to own arms, is a bane, a curse they brought upon themselves that has caused so much pain(honestly i don't see any good in it AT ALL) and which will continue to wreak havoc. Isn't it apparent already?
First they had the 1966 shootout in the university of texas where 16 were killed, then again in 1991 where another 23 were shot in, wow, texas again. Maybe thats why the good ol' texan Bush is so pro-arms, these texans seem violent.
ok, i obviously don't mean that. but why continue having something that serves no real purpose but has always, is always and will continue to always cause damage and a loss of lives. I honestly don't understand. If anything, i would say the lives of these innocent students and other civilians don't matter.

the US govt. has built a reputation of taking too extreme an action, too late, like in 911. but atleast, better late than never. sadly though, how they aren't really bothered bout preventing the future loss of lives, but is at this moment supposedly "saving" the lives of others, far far from home.

people who know me well enough know that i am quite impractical. and impractical people do impractical things like applying for smu law even when they've done a whole year in nus. yes, thats exactly what i did. not for anything else, but because that one law module i did in nus has fanned that previously negligible interest i had for law. and i don't even think i would do law for real, especially not now when weina told me bout the penalty for quitting a uni after 2 semesters. according to her, i would have to pay the full tuition grant for that 1 year, which would be an additional $6700. a huge impact for my single mum. but its not just the money, its what i want to do in life. i've always been certain, always known it'd be psychology, and now here i am unable to decide between law and business:/. yes, fickle, that's what i am. completely.
frankly though, i think i'd be a happier lawyer than a manager/marketing executive. but i don't know, we'll have to see. cos' now i've just been shorlisted for an interview. maybe it'd have been easier if they had just rejected me. interview's on the 27th of apr(a day after my FNA paper, and a day before my Managerial econs paper). how convenient. now, i can't concentrate.

courage

courage

what if you had a chance to realise your ideal life, the life you've always wanted, the life you've constantly dreamed of. but this dream comes with a price? the sacrifice that requires u to give up on some things or relationships that you have been rather contented with up till now, but know will end someday. will you chase those dreams, n lose what you have now, causing a few hearts to break in the process, but seek consolation in the knowledge that you'll end up with the life u've desired and prayed for. Or, keep what you have, even if it isn't meant to last, n risk losing what may be your only shot at the life you've desired?

what would you do? can you really make a decision? take action and risk hurting those who love you, or leave it and be constantly haunted by what could have been?

Either way, we lose. Guess I'll have to choose which is the greater loss.And when I have, I'll need courage.

Donuts and Laksa

Donuts and Laksa

this morning after my only 2 hour lecture for the day, i had the greatest most indescribable craving for donuts, in particular for those from Donut Factory in raffles City. not that i've ever tried them before, but yes, the few hundred customers who patronize daily can't be wrong. so being the foodaholic that i am, i decided to pass on precious sleeping time to travel all the way down to raffles city, and buy some( one or two, maybe). thinking that obviously it being a weekday today, and barely 11am(yes 11AM!), that i would atleast manage to get some donuts this time. the last time i had one of these 'cravings' n went down to buy some, the queue was so long, i couldn't see the end of it. (for once, i really am not joking)

so yes, after the long trip down from clementi to city hall( all the while salivating at the thought of finally being able to taste the much afamed 'donut factory' donuts), i walked eagerly to the store(which is located at the basement by the way, in case ur interested), to my much unanticipated horror, there was a queue of a good 50 odd people, n the queue was so long that it extended two shops away to where Nike is. Wah lao, what are these people, doing queuing for donuts on a wednesday morning?! ok the same thing i wanted to do i suppose. but seriously, i was in such disbelief, i had to walk away and return as if, hoping that that queue I saw was but a figment of my imagination. anyhow, just to make my trip worth the travel time, i decided to join the queue(yes i DID :o). and i waited, and waited and WAITED.. for a good 15 mins before i gave up.

the queue wasn't moving lah, and upon reflection, i cannot believe i wanted to wait. according to fang wei, a fren of hers had to wait for a good 4 hours before it was her turn to order. 4 hours?! yes, i'm desperate to try their donuts, but to waste 4 hours of my life standing there being bogged down by a tonne of books n notes, n doing nothing but occasionally stealing glances at the REVERED 'Donut Factory' as if it is the food rations post in a war-torn region, is just beyond me.

in addition to that, why i really gave up on queing is because the people in front n behind me were all muttering their orders amongst themselves(as if to constantly remember the reason they're there), which ranged from two dozens(yes 24 donuts) to 48 donuts. which made my 1 or two donuts sound really pathetic in contrast.

after queuing in vain for that 15 mins, i went to Mrs. Fields and got myself the most chocolatey brownie ever- Rocky Road, which was heavenly( especially since it has marshmellows squashed in between layers of brownie and chocolate) AND two cheap donuts from the good ol' 7 eleven store near my house. which were good enough anyway.(ah, sour grapes).

needless to say, i've just about had enough of donuts, for the day. now i want laksa,the one from that halal chinese Tong Seng coffeeshop at bugis street, which i've resolved is going to be tomorrow's food expedition.

God bless food stall owners who decide to go halal, they make me so happy.

mein Deutsch ist nicht sehr gut. (my german isn't all that good)

i've declared myself an early holiday. i've been blogging, eating, stoning, chatting, shopping, window shopping, arranging dates with frens i haven't caught up with for a long time. basically everything but studying.and yes, my exams are what, a mere two weeks away or so? something's obviously not right with me. n i really can't put a finger on what it is just yet. oh well :D haha.

lets talk abt smtg funny. last week, in the mrt on our way home, kai n i happened to start a conversation with a lady from switzerland whose first comment was on how she thinks kai has got a nice face. haha, upon which, i had to tell her how she just made kai's day. n yes i was pretty excited cos this was my golden opportunity to put my limited german to practice. n so i asked her, how she was.. in german, that'd be "Wie geht's?" n yes so she said "sehr gut"(very good) Und dihnen?( and you?) n i confidently (initially) n then hesitatingly said "sehr gut...auch) (very good...too) which obviously mirrored the english way of answering a similar qn. n yes, which is obviously wrong. so she corrected me" auch sehr gut."

at that very moment, i knew i had put to waste my near two semesters of german language course. i mean seriously, if i can't even answer a simple qn like "how are u?", the whole point of doing german is lost. a total embarrassment, if u ask me!

sigh. ok i better go start studying for my oncoming german semester test. :S wish me luck.

neither here, nor there

what ethnic group do u think i belong to? I think i've considered myself a malay for the longest time, but yes anyone can tell i'm not malay. which is good in some ways, especially when someone's bitching about u in malay. haha, like what happened a few mins ago. I'm in the central lib using the comp here, n some bugger had to spill coffee n leave his mess n the coffee cup at the very desktop i booked. yes so the cleaner lady (a malay) came over n kinda said "meluat" outloud (for my dear manjen n yindian frens: it means disgusting) obviously directing it to me. sheesh. no i dun blame her, but yes u stupid buggers (yes, I'm referring to u Mr Coffee Spiller)spare a thought for the cleaners lah, n poor INNOCENT people like me who get the brunt of the blame on ur account.

so yes, i've realised this a long time ago, how i never really fit in. yesterday whilst ordering food at the arab food stall in the biz canteen, out of true ignorance, i asked the stall lady(who's damn nice by the way) what Falafel is,( its the arab version of vaadai, an arab tidbit) n she looked at me with a totally bewildered look, n eyed me accusingly as she said " Aren't you supposed to be Arab? You should know what." Yes, I get that alot.

Need more proof? Once, a man came up to me, muttering as fast as the F1 racing cars at Grand Prix in TURKISH, expecting me to answer as fast as him. But of cos, looking at my stupendous, totally confused expression, he must have figured that i don't speak the language, or probably just assumed that I'm one retarded Turkish.

Oh, and this is the misperception i like best. when someone thinks I'm from Spain or somewhere Europe-ish. No, post colonial mindset aside, admit it,the spanish girls are hot. so if i do get such comments which I obviously regard as compliments,i try to push it and enforce their belief for a little bit, until of cos they insist I say something in Spanish other than "Ola"or " Raul" which then just foils my plans, n puts me in a situation where quick thinking is of absolute importance, to save my indian ass.

So yes, for the record, I'm Indian.Born n bred in Singapore, but Indian, and I speak a whole list of languages- English,Malay,Tamil,Hindi sparingly,German,n a little Mandarin (yes, and my vocab ranges from words like "pentan" to "siao" which are sufficient to detect all that mandarin bitching)

so yes, u might want to think twice when bitching about me, unless u do it far far away, or do it in French or some unknown language like Turkish. :x

crushes

today was quite a fun day, and no i dun have any new crushes or anything, but i chatted with two crazy girls about some of the hot guys we know. which was fun n crazy. haha, kiran and zahillah(hope i got her name spelt right). zahillah happens to be from tk so obviouslyy she knows who sushi is. haha, so we were talking about him n this other guy who she has liked for sucha long time. it was cute, cos in many ways we were re-living the delight, the fun, the embarrassment, the sadness of the many memories that involved them, which no doubt made jc life more fun.

oh n kiran has got an admirer. n he's either clearly not making any attempt to hide it, or he wants to make it obvious. first he was tailing her, n today he n a fren of his were chatting at the oddest place possible-the stairs, just inches away from where we were studying.. hahaha, damn funny lah. but atleast he didnt match up to the middle-aged, beer belly bearing image i first had when kiran told me there was a MBA student tailing her around school.i would encourage her to go ahead and get to know him even, if kiran is single, which sadly for him, she's not. so yes, poor guy, but i understand how u feel, been there done that.

makes me reminisce the things i did for that certain someone in mj. haha, bitter-sweet memories, but dunno lah, not meant to be i suppose. hope he gets that girl he likes, though personally i think he deserves better.

oh well, so much for crushes, i think kiran is damn cute, she wanted to give that guy the "all-knowing, sad, i totally understand your position but there's reali nothing i can do" kinda smile which when demonstrated, really looked like a cross between a retarded sloppy smile and a twisted pout(try imagining that). and i realise that school is so much fun with her around. we're constantly laughing and cracking jokes,(aha, i think i've uncovered th cause for that low CAP) but really, i can't imagine what school would be without her. boring,bleak and a prolonged sleeping session, i suppose. :D

here's a random pic of us-the two partners in crime

we were supposed to be bellydancing by the way. but pole dancing is way more exotic,don't you think?

she calls us the two hotties ;)

k la, headache's back, gotta start rushing my assignments now:/. night!

funny...