Thursday, September 27, 2007

I love this girl..

No matter how many disagreements we've had


No matter how many times we've hurt each other intentionally or not


No matter how seldom we meet


No matter how we're way too busy


No matter how we never succeed in curbing each other's tendency to splurge


No matter how rarely I say this,



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I love you lah susu. You rock my world, totally. Here's to hoping that you'd remain (indefinitely) the constant that you have been since 2002. Hope you had a great birthday, and I will always be here for you. :)

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Thursday, September 20, 2007

Hands held High
I think this song holds so much meaning, and portrays the truth representative of life today. Another amazing piece from what I think is the best band of our time, Linkin Park. OMG, I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM PERFORM. Please, please let me get tickets, Allah. Amin.

Turn my mike up louder I got to say something
Light weights step to the side when we come in

Feel it in your chest the syllables get pumping
People on the street they panic and start running

Words on loose leaf sheet complete coming
I jump on my mind, I summon the rhyme, I'm dumping

Feeling the blind I promised to let the sun in
Sick of the dark ways we marched to the drumming

Jump when they tell us that they wanna see jumping
Fuck that I wanna see some fists pumping

Miss something, take back what's yours
Say something that you know they might attack you for

Cause I'm sick of being treated like I had before
Like the stupid standing for what I'm standing for

Like this war's really just a different brand of war
Like it doesn't cater the rich and the fan and poor
Like they understand you in the back of the jet
When you can't put gas in your tank
These fuckers are laughing the way to the bank and cashing the check
Asking you to have the passion and have some respect
For a leader so nervous in an obvious way
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
In their living room laughing like "what did he say?"

[Chorus]Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen[End Chorus]

In my living room watching but I am not laughing
Cause when it gets tense I know what might happen
World is cold the bold men take action

Have to react to get blown into fractions
Ten years old is something to see
Another kid my age drug under the jeep
Taken and bound and found later under the tree
I wonder if he thought the next one could be me
Do you see the soldiers they're out today
They brush the guts with bullet proof vests away

It's ironic at times like this you pray
But a bomb blew up the mosque yesterday
There's bombs in the buses, bikes, roads
Inside your market, your shops, your clothes
My dad he's got a lot of fear I know
But enough pride inside not to let that show

My brother had a book he would hold with pride
A little red cover with a broken spine
On the back, he handwrote a quote inside
When the rich wage war it's the poor who die

Meanwhile, the leader just talks away
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
In their living room laughing like "what did he say?"

[Chorus]AmenAmenAmenAmenAmen

His hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

His hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

His hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

His hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

His hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

Monday, September 17, 2007

What Shampoo did Jesus use?
Rejoice!! :)
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to update. Fulfilling my obligation to tell the world the bits of my life? Taking time to take stock of all that happened? Or just to fill the boredom. I think its all of these really. If I don't update for so long, it feels odd, like something left undone that I have to get done else this horrible egging feeling won't cease to bother me. Yet, I can't help but concede that I love blogging, and that it really shouldn't matter who reads my blog, or what they think of it, or why I'm even doing this, because if anything, I'm having fun, and God knows how much I need these little breaks, to tear myself away from the hectic life that is mine right now. Okay, so what was it I wanted to talk about?

Oh yes, we have a new maid now, ok correction, a new domestic helper (doesn't maid sound a tad too derogatory?), to help out with my grandpa. Oh and that's another piece of news, my grandpa is finally home after the 3 long months at the hospital. He looks really frail and even thinner from the last time I saw him. Its like, everytime I see him, there's something about him that looks different, and its not something I can put my finger on, but its still there, and the change is always quite drastic, making him look unfamiliar at times too. IF anything though, I am absolutely glad that he's home and close to us, for it makes it a lot more bearable emotionally and less tiring since the journey from clementi to tan tock seng isn't exactly the most convenient trip, especially not for someone with a 5 day week timetable.
We've gotten him a new sofa bed from Ikea, and tried sprucing up his part of the room(for which my aunt takes sole credit for) and things are quite good now, and this is the best I've felt with regards to my grandpa's condition since that fateful day when we learnt of his condition. So, ALhamdulillah, I am grateful to Allah for giving us time to prepare ourselves mentally and emotionally, and for this priceless time that has allowed us all spend a bit more time with him, to let him know how much we love him.

Oh, this domestic helper that we've got, her name's Ellie, not sure how its spelled though, but its supposed to be pronounced that way <"Ell-ly"> so I suppose that should be right. She's quite nice, rather quiet though and at times I miss this other domestic helper we had for four days, Wiwie who was alot like a big sister. She was definitely more chatty and it felt good having an elder sister, even if it was for a few days. Anyway Wiwie had to leave(something about her Visa), hence the arrival of Ellie. You know when I think about people like Ellie and Wiwie who are in their early 20s if not below 20,I am humbled by the blessing that Allah has bestowed upon me, so that I am part of a realatively well to do family in a relatively prosperous part of the world, both of which have pretty much secured my future for me. Imagine on the contrary, if you had been born into a poor family in an even poorer country, what little choice would you have but to go seek for wealth in the lands of those who are more fnancially equipped, as domestic helpers, or as odd job labourers where strenuous labour if not sexual services are offered as a compensation for the lack of education. It is a pity really, for what fault is it of theirs for them to have been 'assigned' such a fate? Or what choice do they have other than to toil hard in the lands where proper respect is only reserved for the wealthy, just so they can earn that extra cash?

I know Allah is fair though, for although we may be better off in many ways (financially being the most obvious), that doesn't make us any more privileged or blessed than those who don't. For when you have very little of something, that doesn't by default make you unhappy. On the contrary, I think it is often those who have relatively little in life who tend to treasure the small little things that they have, making them a lot more happier than those who can't be as appreciative especially since they have everything and have always had everything.
Its like a trade-off between happiness and wealth, which of course isn't always the case, I mean of course, there are those who are both wealthy and very much happy, and those at the other end of the spectrum, who are poor and embittered.

No matter where you are on that wealth spectrum, bear in mind that you've got a choice on where you stand on the happiness spectrum, for it really doesn't take much to be happy, especially not for those who try. Just look around you and I can guarantee that the very first thing your eyes catch hold of, will be symbolic of atleast a dozen other things you should rejoice for. :)

Saturday, September 15, 2007

My funny Devil Friend

Hi, I've been away for awhile, schedule's damn packed, I barely have time to sleep. But, I want to wish all a blessed Ramadhan, may this be the best one yet for you.Amin. Speaking of Ramadhan, just thought I'd share a funny conversation I had with this friend of mine from India, who's quite all set to lure me into hell just cos my MSN nick was "I love you, Allah". :)

'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
u love sum1 or u love allah??
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
n if allah ... lolz.. is it the time for u to go n meet him?? is it.. so this buttering to allah is for tht or wat?
I love you, Allah. says:
hahaha what buttering
I love you, Allah. says:
i love Allah ok
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
yeah coz he might juz trasnfer u to hell
I love you, Allah. says:
why is that
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
wat do i knw... u must have dun sumthin which is not ethical!
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
lol dont worry i will surely surely meet u in hell
I love you, Allah. says:
hahahahha, yes possible. but im trying my best to redeem myself from the depths of heaven man
I love you, Allah. says:
n no thats my biggest worry really, seeing u there
I love you, Allah. says:
hahahaha
I love you, Allah. says:
form the depths of hell i mean
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
yeah me toh not even tryin... everytime i try ... there is sum or d other sin committed... by mistake or by purpose.. m a born asshole
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
ab wat to do
I love you, Allah. says:
den nvm lah
I love you, Allah. says:
maybe u can start making frens with those who are surely to go to heaven, maybe we can get u out
I love you, Allah. says:
notice i said WE
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
u knw wat... those kinda friends really bore me.. n lol wat made u think u goin to heaven? lolz
I love you, Allah. says:
i know lah, cos i've got frens who're surely gg to heaven
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
u r goin 2 hell wid me
I love you, Allah. says:
so u know networking n such
I love you, Allah. says:
n they'll help me
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
yeah but everythin settles n my side wieght is more .. they cant help bail u out frm my friendship u c
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
so u goin to hell in any case u c
I love you, Allah. says:
damn is that right
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
yeah
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
thts so right
I love you, Allah. says:
den i shant be frens with u anmore
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
u choose tht really?
I love you, Allah. says:
sorry milin , but this is life n death man, u knw i love u, but heaven beckons
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
n u knw wat.. m plannin to take over devil
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
i will make hell living heaven man
I love you, Allah. says:
right. go ahead then. let me knw how it goes
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
u need to support me!
I love you, Allah. says:
nein, tpp much risk man
I love you, Allah. says:
*too much risk, not a worthy investment, my finance devil fren
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
lol wats fun wen there is no riisk
I love you, Allah. says:
yeah but when the risk's too high, itd be a lot like shooting urself int he foot
I love you, Allah. says:
or head
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
lol.. no there wont b any bullets inside even if they attempt to shoot
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
lol
I love you, Allah. says:
why not
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
anyway wat u upto
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
coz i will remove every bulllet b4 i declare myself tht m here to compete wid devil
I love you, Allah. says:
well, i was TRYING to study when a certain devil fren decided to lure me into hell
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
i will setup everythin
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
ooo so sad.. u study .. go aheah.. i shall lure u laterz then
I love you, Allah. says:
hahahahah i managed to instill patience into a devil fren! woo hoo! that must be some achievement
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
yeah it sure is an achievement
'Milin' - on sleeping pills.. lets c how this helps now! says:
bye love ya.. in real ok?? not juz as a friend!! muaah ta
I love you, Allah. says:
so love that one has for a fren isn't real ah?

***************************************************************************
Yes, thats Milin for you.:)

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Of roti and gummies; pig shaped gummies no less.

OMG, pavarotti is dead. I'm so sad! He's one of those few ppl whose names I can make fun of (Think bread in malay), and one of the few ppl whose wax replica I've taken a photo with, at Madame Tussaud's. And for me, an opera dummy (whose idea of an opera cannot extend beyond 'Phantom and the Opera') to actually know his name and his achievements must really speak of how great an operetta he was. He died of pancreatic cancer btw, after a year long battle. Well, like my grandfather so eloquently puts it, "There is no difference between the lavatory and the cemetery, when you've got to go, you've got to go". May his soul rest in peace. Have you noticed this sad trend though? That, a myriad of titles, recognition awards and prestigious gifts are only awarded when such marvelously brilliant, talented, accomplished individuals die or are near death? In fact this is largely the case for nearly every accomplished individual and if theres some consolation for thoe who give these awards when these people are NEAR death, there is no consolation whatsoever,for those who choose to are give it out AFTER they've passed on. Its really sad. Like how the Italian government had earlier this week honored him with an award for "excellence in Italian culture," and La Scala and Modena's theater announced a joint Luciano Pavarotti award. (I copy and pasted that from yahoo)


You see, why acknowledge someone's contributions after he's gone? Why not while the person is still around and alive and may then truly appreciate the recognition. Perhaps, its just a way of ensuring that this really accomplished person (no matter who he/she is) won't get too big headed and forget himself should there be endless appreciation and recognition in the form of these awards and ceremonies. Or maybe, the idea of someone being dead justifies the act of recognition by a whole lot more, making it more deeply imbued with sincerity and gratitude, for now that this person is really no longer there, its easier to feel heart-felt gratitude that is hard to distinguish from the sadness and sympathy that one feels at his passing. But wouldn't it be a great deal better if we can let the person know that his efforts are not in vain and that they are highly appreciated while he is still alive? After all, it is to him/her that we ought to be thankful and not just to show the rest of the world how thankful we are.


Anyhow, I skipped my stats lecture today, which is BAD ATTITUDE, KHAIRAH. So yeah, I didn't leave home at all. I didn't even go for the Exchange talks. Ahh, nevermind I'll just fix an appointment with one of those ppl in charge of exchange programs and ask her all that I want. I tried studying a bit but sad to say, it remained an attempt. Whilst "studying", I noticed a great number of things


1) that the ants that have been hanging out around my table are really from the kitchen, and I saw this hugeeee crazy long trail of them, and I killed all of them. Evil, i know. It really felt like an extermination.


2) I also noticed that I get distracted WAYyy too easily.


3) That Aerobics never leaves my mind. I have sent out gazilion sms-es (Oh dear lord, I'm so afraid for my bill) to so many aerobics ppl to organize so many things. Bleargh.Cos a certain type of uneasiness just overwhelms me (by default) whenever I'm not in school. This really feels like a 6MC module.


4) And I also realised that I have many many things in pink!




And that the pink packet on the extreme left of the picture was manufactured in Germany! And like true Germans, the gummibears in this packet were really gummi-pigs! Whose brilliant idea was that?!


And being the easily distracted person that I am, I actually took a picture. Of the pig.




There the gummi pig and a distorted gummi pig. Cos I don't like them. Actually ah, it kinda looks like a rat, eh?

Whatever. STUDY, WOMAN.



Sunday, September 2, 2007

the squashed little brown dot of an ant
This is supposed to be my 67th post, according to Blogger, which has to be right la of course. I'm wondering why I'm even blogging right now when I had with so much zest and drive scribbled a list of "to do things" for today at 2plus am this morning including the time I must have each task done by. Like for instance how I am by right supposed to have completed my managerial acctg assignment by twelve noon today, but I woke up at 1:01pm so you should know the outcome of that one. Or how I'm supposed to have completed my german homework by 4pm but its 4:03pm and here i am BLOGGING about the unfinished german homework. If its of any consolation, I suppose at the very least, I am sticking true to myself, the skiver, procrastinator, let's-do-things-that-make-me-happy-nevermind-if-they're-completely-pointless me.

Okay I've just killed two ants. No three. Where the hell do they come from? I've always made it a point to respect all living things, big or small because I mean imagine if you were an ant and one second later, you're this flattened brown dot having been squashed by this pale gigantic long, tentacle like thing, whch really is a human hand but I mean how would an ant know right. Or maybe they do, maybe their parents or the queen ant or smtg has briefed all the other tiny worker ants to watch out for this tentacle like creature that is sure to squash the life out of you. I pity ants lah, I really do. I mean they're hardworking creatures doing all they can to find food only so they can survive and feed some queen ant or smtg. Wait, do ants even have a queen? Or is it only for the bees? No I'm certain they do. But yeah my point is, I don't have anything against the ants and I may even like them especially after watching that Pixar ant/bugs animated movie -Bugz or was it Antz? Goodness, what has happened to my memory? Meine Gedachtnis ist jetzt sehr schlect. Ich bein sehr traug. My memory sucks now, and I'm damn sad. Okay I think its Antz. Anyway yeah I like ants, cos I think they're the exact opposite of what I am, ahaha small and hardworking. But there has just been too many lah, and I can't possibly share my home with ants. I mean hey, if it was just a few of them, I'd welcome them with an urm, open heart, but there are so many of them, I'm beginning to suspect that its probably a plan to stage a revolution and take over the world, or my home which might as well be the world in their point of view. So I've got to do something and that something is just to kill them in the fastest possible painless manner I can think of. In fact because Mairah's mum claims that its sinful to kill ants, I have been saying "Bismillah' everytime I kill them, just so it'd ease whatever pain they may feel everytime I kill them.

My goodness, I've just blogged an entire entry about ants. How mentally stimulating and riveting.

I think I'll go clear my messy dusty table now. Make my mum proud and find the source to all these ants once and for all. Amin.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Ratatouille

Goodness. Everyone can't make it for Ratatouille today! I've contacted Hani, Adilah, Ting yi, Huda, mairah and everyone has something on! Except for Kai of cos. :D I'm thankful for Kai. Hahaha, I can't wait to watch it later! Woo hoo! Heard that the reviews for it gave it an average of 4 to 5 stars, so I'm realllyyy looking forward to it. It feels like eeons since I last stepped into the cinema. In fact come to think of it, my last movie was 'Simpsons'. Okay so that wasn't too long ago, but well it sure feels like it. Maybe cos my timetable this sem sucks big time. On mondays, I end at 12noon which isn't too bad of cos, but with project meetings, and the interview sessions to select the new aerobics comm members and the yoga duty I have no choice, but to volunteer for, my mondays end at 6pm. Tuesdays also 6pm. Wednesdays, don't ASK. 8 freaking pm. Thursdays are not bad and if I don't have to stay back for kickboxing duty till 6pm *cross fingers* I'll actually end at 12 noon. Fridays start late from 4-6pm.

Okay come to think of it, its only the first few days of the week that are cut-throat days and thurs and fridays are not too bad. Just that aerobics has been taking so much of my time lately, my nearly free days tend to become full days. Oh wel, I'm not complaining. Just reflecting. And things are bound to get better lah, after the new comm members have been selected and the duty roster is fixed for good, cos then I won't have to do duty anymore cos apparently, chairpersons are exempted from duty. heehee. :D

Yesterday was good cos I ended the day with german lecture and then paid a visit to my grandparents who btw are both warded in Tan Tock Seng. But my grandma's just been discharged cos she attempted to run away a few times. Hahahahha, and I AM NOT KIDDING. For those who don't already know, my grandma's the more adventurous kind who refuses to be cooped in the hospital cos it restricts her by a great deal and believe me, she's not one to be restricted. The nurses received the brunt of her unhappiness, cos according to my aunt, she has been scolding them for every little thing that they do like when they wanted to do another ECG on her, she fired up, and asked them why they had to do it so many times. Or when the doctor claimed that she has a bit of diabetes, she refused to believe its true. Hahhaha, you've gotta give the nurses your utmost respect man, for the indefinite amount of patience they have. My grandma is one funny person lah, so stubborn and the kind who will have nothing in any other way but hers. Fortunately or unfortunately, some of these characteristics have passed on to me. But she's hugely entertaining, extemely open minded and a very people's person making her the all time perfect grandmother. :)

Okay now I wanna talk about my german lectures, I think Frau Vierry is really the best German Lecturer I have ever had, which may not be a big deal considering I have only had two in all my life in NUS - her and Herr Kim, but still, she's really fun lah. Yesterday she made all of us practise pronouncing the letter 'z' which in german will sound like "tsssssssset". According to her, if you pronounce it correctly, you won't fill the gush of air directly in front of your mouth, but instead at around your chin's level. And so she went around putting her hand at everyone's chin's level to feel the gush of air. Hahaha, oh and we had this german tongue twister with 'z', which was HILARIOUS given how everyone had to focus on emphasising the 'tssssssettt' of every word that began with z. I thik german is my favourite module for this sem.

Oh, and I know I'm most likely going to contradict what I'm about to say here soon enough, but I think I like finance! hahahaha, I usually like modules which make sense to me and finance makes alot of sense (FOR now atleast) cos its all about how you need to plan the capital budget and the capital structure of it all. This is a groundbreaking realisation, because if things keep up this way, and I go on liking finance, I may very well decide to foil my life plans of majoring in marketing and management and go for finance and mangement instead. woo hoo. Okay, all of this, only time will tell.

Speaking of management, for my organisational effectiveness module, I kinda told the lecturer that I think mnagement is alot of common sense and that I dont understand why there is a need for all these theories and gibberish, all very eloquently put - of cos. And I think he was left speechless cos Dr. Wan (the lecturer for this module) is a reallllyyyy nice lecturer the type who will always be agreeable to something that his students say just so he can play the engouraging role of a lecturer/tutor. But of cos, agreeing to what I said would have meant that he concedes that all of his life's works and studying has been nothing but a complete waste of time cos there really isn't much to management anyway. Hahaha, I felt really bad lah but I honestly feel that management is really alot of commonsense. I mean to be a good leader, of cos you need to involve your employees, of cos you've got to respect their feelings, and of cos you've got to exercise your authority to some extent, i mean how else will you ensure that the work gets done? But maybe, like Prof. McAllister said, "Commonsense isn't too common after all".