HOORAYY!! =D Copyright OK!

i love my privacy and my freedom. was looking at my blog and its posts and realised that I don't have comments for any entry, but that that's really the best way to be, cos only then can I truly feel free enough to voice out my truest emotions and views without having to consider, negate or moderate my words. love it. also just realised that the sentence before the last one is exceptionally long. hah. i is happy now. yeay, let's find for a pretty shiney cheery picture..

Credits: http://www.wallstory-murals.co.uk/mural_details/Over%20the%20rainbow/over_the_rainbow_details.htm

Hi there..

It has been a while since I last really got inspired and blogged. Cos a lot of times, I'm haggled and bothered by so many pressing and urgent needs to do this or that.. so much so that it leaves very little space to be truly 'free' and inspired.. Now, it's slightly different.. I feel a bit more happy and relaxed. Mainly because I've graduated, and have finished one more test for this job I'm applying for, and even finished the few ywlc stuff I need to do.. so feel really free.. :) good feeling, hasn't been felt for some time now.

Another thing, I think I am very fortunate to e blessed with a supportive and highly motivating grandmother and a doting and unwavering mother. They are the pillars of my strength and I have a lot to be thankful for with them in my life. To be honest, I won't be able to achieve much without their constant support and love. Think about it, if I didn't have them, I wouldn't know how to support myself, not just financially (which is already the bulk of the problem) but also, 'operationally'. They take care of my meals, they quietly do this, that, for me, never asking for much in return, all investing in me for they have the belief that it will do me good and help me secure a bright future. they wish the world for me, they truly wish for my well being and success. Isn't that precious? To be truly loved without them ever asking for anything in return? I am very blessed, Alhamdulillah.

Just now, my grandma, my mum and I went to Uncle Ismail's house. Auntie Wahidah, his wife fetched us and drove us over. Uncle Mail (pronounced in the malay way and not the english way) is relatively rich. He lives in a large condo that should easily be worth more than $1mln, has been very successful in his career and very successful by most measures. Yet, in that car ride, as I sat next to my mum who told me how happy she was to have me with her, I realised that the richest ppl are those who have their loved ones close to them. those who have their families intact, who have their loved ones close to them and who love and support them unconditionally.. And I am already relatively rich in that aspect, Alhamdulillah. I hope I never forget this important realization. Of course, if I could have it all, and be both rich (in material terms) and in terms of relations and in love, that would be best.. But if I had to choose between the two, I think I would choose the latter anytime. Remember this Khairah. A good lesson from a beautiful day.

On an unrelated topic, I wish to talk of Uncle Mail. He's such a kind man.. We all prayed together in his house, with him as the Imam and he prayed for my late grandfather and for my success in my career and life too. A truly kind man. May Allah reward him for his kindness, Inshaallah. Good day all in all, worth missing MPS for this. :P k that's as inspired as I can get today.. Take care all u good ppl and always always put your family first, they're completely worth it.

tired beyond comprehension. emotionally, spiritually and mentally. take me to a land of happiness.

blabliblu

Hi, ok had some problem with blogger previously probably because of this blogger app that I dwlded for my phone. Couldn't save posts but had to publish new ones-> so I've deleted the app since n it's fine now.

anyway.. I wanted to blog cos I've been feeling a bit down. I don't think I've been using my time very effectively. Just now, I nagged n all when my grandma asked me to bring her down n buy the clothes poles together. 1) bcos I wanted to do work (settle ywlc stuff n apply fr more jobs) and 2) cos I didn't see the rush- like the thing with my grandma is that when she wants to do smtg, she'll just go all out n do it THEN. On her terms, her timing. So yeah a bit irritated. Then again, I realise that I shouldn't be so inflexible and should be a bit more understanding lah. After all, my grandma's right in a lot of ways- sometimes, there's no point procrastinating. Just go all out, finish it, settle, done. Why think so much, why wait so much, etc etc. But still, her insistence on doing things at her convenience is a tad irritating la but nvm la, just make her happy la. I should be a bit more accommodating too la. (anyway, to cut this story short, I did bring her down, wheeled her all the way to the shop, got the clothes poles n came back).

I do know that once my grandma is no longer around, I will pine and long for small moments like these so I should truly treasure these moments that I have with her now. And make her happy to the best of my abilities. Spend more time with her. Hmm.. it is on that note that I have kinda decided not to go ahead with my India trip la. India can wait, family comes first seriously. :) And I feel good about this decision.

Ok, now that I have cleared things off my chest.. I have got to get back to settling my unfinished business with ywlc. have a meeting in the evening. NO PROCRASTINATING!

NEEDS TO RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAWR!!

nightmare

Had a nightmare this morning.. Was quite terrible. Dreamt that I married an unknown person n I felt so much regret n sadness. Terrible. Nau'zubillah. I'm now waiting for my bus at vivo city, to get me to school. My RBR book is overdue by 2 hrs-so $2 fine. :/ sigh, well it'll all end tmrw Inshaallah.

Can't wait. Inshaallah.

good link:

http://chronicle.com/article/The-Shadow-Scholar/125329/

I feel so strangely free. :) It's a good feeling. Went to the Habib Noh mosque early this morning with my mum and it felt good to pray there- glad I made it in time. Had good food, they served Nasi briyani and grandma cooked lontong soto too. Shukur Alhamdulillah. Hari Raya Haji is to remind us of sacrifices. Those sacrifices that ppl around us do for us, selflessly, and with no expectations for anything in return. Like how my mum selflessly wakes up every morning to work and earn a living for my family and me. Or how my grandma will bear all pain and exhaustion to cook for her kids and grandkids. Sacrifice takes all forms. I'm thinking about the sacrifices I have made and hmm, tbh there aren't many. One, I do sacrifice some weekends and free time to spend time with my family but then again, that makes me happy so I don't really count that as a sacrifice. studying hard to ensure that I'll do well enough (to get a job)- thn again, that too is self-driven if you think about it. So hmm. I dunno, but I honestly can't really think of any real sacrifices I have made.

Oh wells. =) Happy Eid everyone.

at this moment, I'm overwhelmed. I am reminded of Allah's greatness and his wonderful blessings. :) Feel very blessed, Alhamdulillah. Went through about 4.5yrs of Uni, 1.5 yrs worth of internship experience and made countless of wonderful friendships. This is SUCH a special day. ok, I'm acting like this is the last day of school but it's this friday that is my last day of school. I can do this (have 1 20 pg long report, 1 more presentation, 1 test tmr, 1 grp report due on Sunday). Can do this can do this! :) Amin.

Dear Allah,

so many sweet ppl surround me. all asking me how I have done for the Bain interview cos they thought it's today. It's tmr -postponed again. Haiz, I really want to do this well. Please let me get through. Amin.

Love,

Khairah

What's most important?

Hi, this post was inspired by my countless hours of thinking, doodling, and whiling away. It usually follows an extremely productive period- and I had one of such 'periods' yesterday. I was really quite hardworking, managed to type out my bit for my compensation group report and even rushed till the very minute the library closed (i.e. 9pm) to brainstorm and look up some library books for my upcoming Product and brand presentation on Tuesday. So yes, I think I did work quite hard (can be harder lah but still, gime some credit yeah, haha).

So anyway I was thinking, facebook-ing, reading, etc. And I realise that so many of us are quite full of ourselves. Guess it's natural, we want to believe that we're all important in some way or another. And we try to 'prove' it by the types of activities we choose to participate in, the causes we partake in and devote our lives to, even the types of friends we associate ourselves with and would like to be close with or the jobs we take up. That's not even a laundry list and of cos, even if I did try, I won't even be able to list them all even in a thesis. At the end of the day though, the truth will surface- whether or not what you thought was important was indeed important, or whether or not you were indeed important the way you thought you were.

To some extent, I believe that at some point, we will realise that we were disillusioned and that the self-importance perception that we once held will be shattered. That someday, we'll look back, and smirk- that's what I thought? Hah. But that is not to say that we should give up being disillusioned for that self-importance is in fact the fuelling force for many. It can rouse up the spirit to do even greater things than if you removed it altogether. Some bask in the glory of being the popular one, some relish in being the funny one, others in the success at school, or even through the other causes they partake in. Yet, guess it boils down to the greater question of what is most important. What is it that you want to achieve through your life? Be the change-maker/ go with the flow and see where it gets you or? It doesn't matter I guess, but how you define that goal will in some ways define your success at the end of it all and also how disillusioned/ happy you emerge at the end of it all.

For me, this blog post was needed to re-align my thoughts and 'self-vision'. I want to make as big a positive difference and impact as I can on all those around me. Some scoff, others say that's too vague, but I do. So, for that, I'll just have to do what's necessary to get me there- and put in the effort to think of new ideas that can help bring about that change and impact (no matter to what degrees) to the many people around me and through the platforms available around me. My wonderful family, YWLC, school, the many wonderful people around me, grassroots and hopefully a really cool job and just seize the day (every single day from now on). Inshaallah.

I did a blood test and the doctor said I had an abnormally high level of one particular enzyme in my liver! :( And she asked me if I drank alcohol?! Hahaha. asked her what that could mean: and she says there are several possibilities: 1) too muc alcohol, 2) hepatitis B or 3) too much fatty food (she said its quite common in younger patients tho). I'm thinking it;s the last factor, surely. Damn.

Time for an overhaul.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA! :D

Check out my cute lil niece, Nur Alishah Daniah. ( I think that's how it's spelt).

if my mum can go through all that shit, so can I. I'm strong enough for this, Inshaallah.

For all of us, especially Kai.

i need inspiration. pls.

or a holiday- where i can go kite-flying, bubble-blowing, sand-castle building, reading, drawing, painting, riding, swimming (ok not swimming), shopping, eating, eating, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping (repeated thrice for a reason), and urm just whiling away la.

what's life for? what's my reason for existence? not to ace my exams, do well in my career n build up my wealth. no no no. just to be happy and try to secure that ticket to everlasting happiness too- if possible.

sigh. Allah, save my soul.

What my YWLC girls think of me. :)

u know, I think no matter what, I am really passionate about my country and my first reaction to anyone's criticisms will be defensive. I think we have a lot to thank for, and that at times we get complacent and a tad too idealistic- forgetting that there was a great price that had to be paid for this success, this peaceful and stable state that we live in. a fren posted an entry on facebook about how she thinks there's so much more for singapore to achieve-(that I don't deny) but the fact that she made some sweeping statements like "our leaders live in a world completely isolated from ours" is to me- a sad sad statement. For 2 reasons really- firstly n more importantly, its the fact that ppl don't and can't truly appreciate the efforts of our leaders. Having worked closely with some of the MPs and ministers has made me realise that they do a great deal, so much more than meets the eyes, so much more than what is being recognised, so much more than what is being perceived. (which is the problem then isn't it? perception is reality to many. and thats what saddens me, cos i think they deserve more credit and criticism can only truly be justified when one can truly examine in totality one's claims n not just state smtg on worldwide social media platforms like facebook without proper justification. ok tbh, I am a wee bit close from fuming mad but emotions aside, I think the greater and underlying issue for our govt. then is marketing. they need to be better able to showcase the efforts and the great pains that they go to to ensure that we sleep well at night, that we can have faith than singapore as a nation won't just function well enough for us to survive but well enough to continue surpassing expectations, well enough to achieve success for the next 45 years of our lives.

sometimes I feel it is this success that has made us complacent, that has made us a tad idealistic without realising and without pausing to truly consider the sacrifices that had to be made to get to where we are. Sigh.

guess you can never tell. its just gotta feel right. at this point, it does. so that's all that matters.

had sushi party at susu's today, gg to visit grandpa's grave in the morning tmr and then off to the marina bay carnival thing, then tuesday off to school. back to school, everybody. gotta give it my best shot this round.

hahaha so funny. what? nothing.

ok i think i may be going mad. I just had a crazy verbal thrashing session from someone, wont say who cos I can't. But I just whined about it on my blog earlier (but saved it as a draft la, cant publish, sigh). I am sad. :(

anyway so funny, i read Kai's blog and, KAI, I know u read this and its funny. I think u should go to sydney btw. Its fun! :) But yeah la guess China wins hands down.

You know sometimes, the thing about ex-es is that because you know them so well, its easy to relate to their emotions, words and actions ( like u ask urself, now why does all this sound so familiar). I dunno if I make any sense right now, (blame the lack of sleep and post-verbal thrashing session), but I think knowing someone so well has its ups and downs.
Ups:
1) u can tell if they're genuine
2) u start psycho-analysing their actions n words, n sometimes wonder why they're the way they are
3) it helps in rltns
4) u dont just hear what they say, u hear the unsaid as well
downs:
1) u cant help but miss them on a more frequent (than necessary) basis
2) ur more emotionally vulnerable to their actions n words
3) sometimes u may be wrong. u may think u know them very well, and then start suffering from tunnel vision.

Ok i am hungry and I want the BIG SUBWAY sandwich in australia-some seafood delight thing.

PS: sometimes i wish i was a housewife living in italy with my own strawberry farm and chickens and sheep (though they stink).

PPS: Yes, this has got to be the most unstructured, messed- up entry there is in my blog and that's saying somehting. I just proved Mr Pang, history teacher from JC right. bleargh. somebody save me.

just while away.

Hi, would just like to share a thought.

I've realized that at times I avoid doing somethings cos I don't want to 'waste' precious time doing small things like maybe decorating my blog/ creating a blog/ writing other things or basically anything (could be anything ranging from surfing the net, browsing through facebook or random blogs, shopping online, listening to music, playing games or streaming movies off the net) that may be deemed unnecessary or a waste of time. But I've realised that the more of these things you avoid doesn't necessarily mean that you're using your time more efficiently. In fact, on the contrary, I think doing more of these small little "insignificant" things ensure that you're more fully occupied and pushed to make better use of the time that's remaining. Also, these things keep you sane because it means you're distributing your time between the 'serious' work stuff and other simpler things that can allow your mind to just while away.

This mix makes you a more balanced person. I mean think about it, even if you do avoid all these "inefficient" things, you'd end up being nothing more than a robot, no? One who's just crazily driven to maximise every single second for something more 'worthwhile' without realising that maybe sometimes, these inefficient things too, have value. The value to keep you sane, to keep you going and to keep fuelling your imagination. These things are necessary. So yes, let's not strike them off the list just yet or hastily categorize them as 'inefficient' and 'unnecessary' things to do.

That said, it is also important to note that acknowledging the value of these activities cannot and should not warrant us not to justify spending nearly half our lives whiling away. Its definitely also all about striking the right balance, though that begs the question of what then, is the right balance or mix? Hmm, think there's no one-size-fits-all formula or equation, its a subjective thing and your optimal balance of 'serious work' and 'play-time' can only come through experience. Adjust and see what your optimal balance is to achieve your end-goal (of cos, first you'll need to be clear too about what it is you want to achieve as your end-goal). :)

Ok, see, point proven. This entry alone holds testament to the value of just doing something "not-so-worthwhile" (i.e. blogging- at least blogging did fall under my list of "not-so-worthwhile" things to do). It has the power to translate one thought into a whole full-fledged topic. :)

Its the 31st of July!

hello yello! Its been some time, hasn't it?
Just returned home. Did mentorship selections & matching process with Angela & DC earlier from like 11am to like 4pm. (Tho I was late la. :( )

So anw, I'm back from Australia, expedited my return because I received the invitation to McK's problem solving test for the Business Analyst post and seeing as to how that's my DREAM JOB, seriously, I HAD TO COME BACK. :)

Anyway, I loved Australia, especially Sydney. Its a beautiful city, with the best cross and mix of nature and the modern man-made structures typical of most modern cities (yes, the actual beautifl landscape and seas and bays not the contrived type of nature- like the planted trees type). It felt a lot like Singapore actually, except the weather was better (at times, a bit too cold, especially the strong winds) and the air was definitely so much fresher. Oh, but one thing's that far different is that driving in Sydney's city is CRAZY. I drove btw, which is really in my perspective, quite asking for it, but hey you know me, I love to try new things and I had to try driving in the city. :) But the roads are crazy, long windy, and curvy, one wrong turn and you can say hello to an extra 15 mins of driving before the next turn. Nothing like Singapore, but hey one cannot compare like that of cos, cos Singapore's much smaller anyway. T'was definitely a great experience. I loved it! Was amazed at the cool parking system (cool because its different from Singapore tho I wonder if its the most economically viable and cost effective way of managing the carpark spaces. There, after a certain period (say 8pm, 9pm or 10pm (depending on what the carpark boards at that specific area says). u can park for free. And before you try to justify that by saying that Sydney is much larger and can afford that, that's not true cos we're talking about the city here, which definitely means there's limited space. Maybe they should take a leaf from Singapore and build a multi-storey carpark or smtg. Yep, definitely should. Haha.

Anyhow, what I would miss most? The time spent there with some special people, of cos. :) Had fun, not so much because of the places I visited (tho that does count too, of cos) but more because of the company definitely.

Anyhow was looking at the photos there and this has got to be my most favourite photo:Can you tell the white words written at the bottom left hand corner? Haha it says, "Sydney Opera House, 18 July 2010, Khairah's Photos (Reserved), muahaha. :) Nice right this shot? Love it.
Have many many other photos but too lazy la to upload all. Hope whoever you are, you're doing good too! Take care! Toodles for now!

wow, three days more and then,

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AUSTRALIA! :))

is so pissed and whiny right now, I'm irritating myself. bleargh. :(

Don't want 7th july to come now. haiz, just realised its only 2 weeks away!

damn confused. God please show me a sign?

very tired. can't wait for the 7th of july.

ramblings of an adult (I'm adult?! :( ) drama queen

Love my new blog template- the whole stained paint, batik dyed effect thing is cool. :) So how have things been?

I'm currently back at McK for a month or so, to earn extra moolah for my trip to Australia. OK la, good to be earning and its AWESOME too that they actually cover lunch, tea time and all. =) I should really save up as much as I can and then splurgeeee n enjoy when I'm in AUstralia. I love working at the Centennial building, its really convenient! Buses 133 and 857 take about 20 mins to reach there. And best part is the variety of food available, the amazing shops (think SUNTEC CITY, 'nuff said) and yeah lotsaaaa cool stuff! If I ever get to choose an ideal office area, it'd be Suntec City. I think Raffles Place is way too crowded and everything's somehow strangely far apart and it's severely lacking in (halal) food variety.

Anyway right now, I'm feeling really down. Made a decision and then had to retract it, I hate it when that happens. I can be so ultra-fickle sometimes and it sucks. I think I gotta learn how to stick to decisions. But on hindsight I think its good that I don't mind admitting to my mistakes and I do realise that its good to take time to think through things. I had to make a decision about smtg major earlier. (Pretty pissed with someone, whose name I shall not name), but this one mistake is really bad, can tarnish the reputation of this organization (not McK la of cos). Some other organization. Which is why I shall remain mum. And I gotta have a talk to her about it. How she should be more careful next time. Well, whats done is done. Think future, think better happier thoughts, think change.

Right now, I think for starters, gotta settle this issue I'm talking about (I know this vague-ness must be getting to you by now). Resolve the issue and move on. Check on everything else, make decisions move on to bigger things. I can do this.

Note to self: When you read this in the future, remember, that this wasn't a good moment but more importantly, remember that this moment was one of those development moments. (its amazing if you think about it, all these LITTLE episodes are doing SO MUCH for character-building.

So, today's the 16th. Gotta settle a bunch of things so as usual let me list them down:
1) Reply to DC's mentorship thoughts
2) ywlc agenda items for meeting tmr & what needs to be achieved in tmr's meeting
3) Application for jobs
4) Find a replacement to fill in for my tuition lessons (when I'm in Australia) - any takers??

ok thats all! (I feel like getting bronzey eye shadow). byeeee.

Malay is the national language of Singapore. Did you know that? Its kinda easy to forget huh?

May Allah bless all of us with the wisdom to discern good from wrong, the patience to withstand His challenges, trials and tribulations, the compassion to love and forgive one another despite our flaws and shortcomings and for the heart to keep heading in His blessed way of life. Be with me Ya Allah, please keep guiding me, Amin. Alhamdulillah.

Sweet things come in bite-sized portions

Woke up to PushSMS from NUS 2 days ago, squeezing my 6 mods worth of grades in one tiny sms, (I swear such sms-es are lethal, every passing alphabet is accountable for the highly volatile fluctuations in my heartbeat.) But t'was all good news!! Praise be to God! =))

FLEAFLYFLO HUM Riyaz's car got fire?!

Hi, today I slept in till late and woke up only at about 1plus pm. Then, I showered and ate my grandma's wonderful suryanam curry and black pepper beef & potatoes. My aunt and I then headed to the Geylang East Clinic for my grandma's health checkup and to get her medication. Then we headed to Geylang Serai to eat at Hajjah Maimunah and buy groceries. Riyaz's car caught fire and is beyond repair. Poor guy is so sad, wish I could help him out in some way. He really worked very hard to buy that car. Well, hope he gets a new one soon cos he needs it for work. ok I'm rather incoherent right now, got a few things to settle. Like:
1) Who to ask to sell stuff at the fleaflyflo flea market this sat
2) send email out to mentors
3) type out mins of mtg for RC
4) buy air ticket for australia trip
5) plan australia trip
6) start applying for jobs
7) etc etc etc

I need to resume my yoga classes! I shall try to go for one tmr, Inshaallah! (Shall sleep by 130am, I SHALL!)
ok toodlesss!

Don't blame Saatchi & Saatchi for an inevitable outcome

I think its hilarious that ad agencies are blamed or praised for the outcome of political campaigns. In fact, imho, I think advertising plays only a small role in the success of many campaigns or sales even. Take the Birtish elections for instance, Saatchi & Saatchi has been blamed for Gordon Brown's loss in the elections. Ok seriously, did he think he'd win again? After all those scandals? I doubt it really. After 13 years of Labour rule, it clearly seemed that public sentiment was rooting for change. ("change' seems to be the magic word in world politics today huh). So yes, my point is, no even a brilliant ad/marketing campaign can save you when you can't deliver.

Tired, hyper, falling sick but happy

Hi there! Its 4:53am and yet I'm feeling a bit hyper. Its obvious my sleeping clock is screwed up. Think the 2 panadol-Extras I just took are already working. (feeling a flu coming my way, and gosh, I DON'T WANNA FALL SICK.)

Went to Auntie Maleha's newborn grandson's ceremony today. Then to Bubu's house and finally to Bakar Nana's house. Ate tons of oily food (nasi briyani, soft drinks, PANDAN O-TEA (pish, remember this? haha) curry puffs, sugee cake,murtabak and more. No wonder I'm falling sick.

Ok, got a busy day ahead tmr/later. Gotta post some letters, head for more action-packed classes at true Yoga (this is my ideal plan la but we'll see.) then meet Angela for site recce at Hyflux and finally go for MPS to catch up with my beloved mentor. You know, sometimes I wonder why I'm doing all these things at this young tender (23-tender or not?) age, and whether its all worth it and then I realise that hell yeah, I'd rather be busy and try to fully maximize every minute of my life doing smtg fulfilling than be a free slacker with too much time on her hands. Hmm. But yes la, trade offs will always exist, but still, on an overall, I'm happy where I'm at at this point in my life, so Alhamdulillah. Ok, I shall go try to salvage and 'repair' that screwed up sleeping clock right now.

PS: I have a Her world photoshoot on tuesday and its eggcitingg! :) more updates soon.

I'll fly you to the moon and back

I'm sticky wicky. I wanna bathe. I'm excited for the Aussie-NZ trip but at the same time a bit anxious. Hmm. I really wish I was much richer. Then I could easily afford a trip to Europe and the US too or smtg. Sigh, someday, Inshaallah. :)

Yes, such an incoherent post I know. But still. I'm uploading my bday pics on fb as we speak. You know sometimes I think, fb is sucha complete waste of time, especially when you devote time to checking for updates or constantly updating stuff there (posts, pics, comments,etc). Then again, it definitely is a way to exchange views and enhance one's knowledge about the world. Like last wk, I found out (through FB) that Botak Jones has a halal outlet at Simpang Bedok! See, these kinda things make FB a worthy investment of one's time. And yes, I would very much like to go to Simpang Bedok's Botak Jones soon! :) I WILL!

Anyway, just because my mind's in disarray (that rhymes babay! ok ok I shall stop): I wanna share a quote I came across sometime ago: "Intelligence is no guarantee of wisdom". And I agree.The wisest people may not necessarily be the smartest but they probably have a better world-sense and more experience that will aid in decision-making processes. Hmm, just food for thought.

My feet are sore, walked way too much yesterday and today. Had my first 2 classes at True Yoga yesterday, they were the night dance classes at Ocean Towers and they were really fun! I have to admit being a complete lost sheep during the first class, jumping right when everyone would turn left, kicking to the side when everyone would sashay, yes you get the picture, I was LOST. Everyone else seemed to know the dance routines so well, its as if they've got it detailed at the back of their hands! The instructor would play a new song, and automatically like robots, they'd shake, move in such a synchronised fashion that it was both fascinating and humorous to watch. The instructor came up to me too to tell me its ok if I was lost this time round but that in time, I too will pick it up, so yes you can imagine how much I must have stood out. haha.

Ok, so then, today, went to this wedding in Tampines. Then had to rush to try to make it to the OCBC bank in Ion Orchard which apparently closes at 7pm from Mon-Sat. AND I MISSED IT BY 5 FREAKING MINUTES LAH. SUCKS OR WAD. :(( Haiz, sucks.

I just read someone's blog, and sadly I was referred to as that "fellow" in a most hateful way. I was tempted to msg her, to say that I know nothing I say will make her feel better but that I still do hope that she will be ok and that I am here if she needs me. But I realise, nvm la. Nothing I say will help. Maybe its best that she hates me, as long as she can be happy. I think teh best is just to stay quiet and pray for her from behind the scenes. Haiz. Its still sad btw, cos I don't deserve such hatred and vile curses against me. To be honest, I was re-reading my blog entries since I last broke up, and that entire year when I was neither here nor there with Kai, with my status with her totally unstable, nearly all my entries were hellish and depressing. Basically I transformed from this cheery happy go lucy person into a drary sad depressed girl, and I realise that I had paid my dues. Told Susu about it too, and I think its time I moved on. I'm glad I can. She ever cursed me, saying that she hopes I would someday feel what she felt, and gosh that hurt. Cos no matter how much you hate someone, I don't think you should curse that person. But its ok, I will tawakal to Allah, but I really believe that i paid my dues. If she wants to misunderstand, then so be it. I wish her well, still.

wants to go running later. MUST. WILL. CAN. SHOULD.

my blogging mojo has been resuscitated. :)

I love the new layout of my blog. The old one just totally disincentivised me from blogging if you know what I mean. The font was too tiny, at time illegible cos of the weird colour and the posts cramped oddly in a corner. This is WAYYYYY BETTER! Totally revived that blogging mojo man! :D Which is why this is the third entry within a span of hours. Which is a Guinness record by my standards!

ok so what shall I blog about now?

I'm supposed to be reading up on my Soft power reading now, by Joseph Nye.

Anyway let me chart my plans for tmr, here:
1) Wake up at 640am, pray.
2) Bathe, go school.
3) Revise till like 2plus or 3 then go pray. (must complete economic & Coercive diplomacy readings)
4) revise again (Complete crisis reading)
5) 5plus: go pray Asar
6) Revise (Rationality & Bureaucratic politics)
7) Do 1-2 practice qns/papers.
8) Go home.
9) Sleep by 12midnight. (MUST!)

Then paper on Friday at 9am. Inshaallah, may Allah guide me through this paper, Amin.

Then after that hang around till like 2 plus or so in school just to wait for susu to appear n meet her at Clementi MRT. Can't wait to see her!! =D

Then Sat: I have this family function thing (to celebrate my cousin Rina's coming-of-age ceremony. hahaha
Maybe join the YWLC girls for the website meeting too.

Sunday: Meet Rahs at Eunos MRT for tea at 120pm like that, hang out for 1-2 hours. Nadzi wants to pass me her membership card at True Yoga for complimentary classes & gym usage for the next 2 months (May & June!!!) So cool right! Cos she'll be occupied with her exams. Shiok! Can't wait! :D
Tuition at 330pm.

Then I'm like FREAKING FREE already lah! I feel like applying for an internship ah, just for the fun of it. hmmm~ Oh, and I saw THE JOB OFFER of the century! (OK I dunno why I'm so dramatic right now, but it sounds way too cool lah. position of Management Trainee for 2 years or so at BHP Billiton and they'll train you in various roles in line with a programme planned by the Uni of Melbourne. AND AND, you'd either be based in Hague or Singapore, awesome or wad! Hague u know! Netherlands! :D I am SO going to apply!

Old, much? (Already?!)

Wow, I was just reading my blog entries from 2007 & 8, and I REALLY do feel so much older. Where has all that zest for life gone to?
Read this for instance: The younger, cooler, funnier & zestier me!

Ok, I pray that this has got nothing to do with growing old and grey but all to do with this last exam paper. Yes yes, it must be. (It better!!)

PS: on another note, Ri hasn't called me yet. Lets see if he keeps to his contract. (Refer to pic in 2 entries ago) :D

(One) Exam Blue(s)

I have one last paper this friday (not for life la, for this sem, but still..) YEAY! :) Its for my foreign policy & diplomacy module. I actually really did enjoy this module. Its been what, 4 months of studying it, 13 weeks or so of exposure to political science and yeah, I definitely have learnt much. Like one of my readings today revealed that the Women's suffrage rights campaign started in 1848 and by 1930, 20 Western Countries have granted these rights. Following which, over the next 20 years till 1950, 48 other nations followed suit. This proves 2 things; (1) that NGOs can be highly powerful and influential. Cos most of the smaller, developing countries granted women suffrage rights only after domestic human rights groups rallied from support from these large transnational NGOs (who will then in turn lobby for support ) & pressure their own govts to pressure those developing govts. Amazing huh, one long indirect process but mission accomplished! (2) That Norms are still relevant in policy making, contrary to what realists believe.
Realists are all for the need to maximise utility &power and discredit the need for normative & ideal concepts. (This came about in the 1970s-80s especially,in line with the increased push by economists for the need to measure utility.) So, realists tried to measure power in terms of material wealth. Let's face it, sure, wealth is an important aspect in measuring a country's influence and standing in the world, but clearly not the only one right?

There are 4 instruments of foreign policy can be used to influence the actions & behaviour of other FP actors (which includes both states & non-state actors), and they are:
1) Military
2) Economic instrument (Trade agreements, quotas, tariffs, embargoes,etc)
3) Propaganda: To influence not just the domestic public but also foreign publics
4) Soft power: Using culture and other normative concepts to advocate certain behaviour
So clearly material wealth is but one form of power, though arguably the strongest form of power.

Okay, if you can't tell already, this is me trying to revise for my paper. :) hehe. But returning again to the topic on women's suffrage rights. Imagine, it took close to a century before women could truly claim to be equals, but that too just "officially". The fight still persists and glass ceilings are still commonplace and permeate societies. Its amazing isn't it? I know I'm beginning to sound like a Femi-Nazi here but think about it, all that campaigning, rounds of negotiations to persist and claim for equalityand today, we're basking and relishing the fruits of their labour. Really oughta be grateful. :) And continue to prove to all that we do indeed deserve equality and can do as well as our male counterparts.

Here, a picture to commemorate their efforts! :)

Source: http://americancivilwar.com/women/Womens_Suffrage/womens_suffrage_summary.html

Ok, that's all from me today! =)

Its been some time. For those who are wondering (if you're still amazingly tuned in, that is), I havent really been on a hiatus. I have been blogging, just that nowadays, I have reserved most of my entries and saved them as drafts, instead of publishing them. Also because life been an emotional rollercoaster in the past few months. Things are better now, much clearer, and happier(?) even. Hmm, so what's new? Tomorrow I'll be going for Chingay +CityAlive (the street bash after Chingay) from 630pm onwards with the ywlc peeps. I'm slightly behind in my readings, have 2 or maybe 3 mid terms this coming week and I NEED TO DO WELL! (side-note, check out this awesome mix by DJ Andrew, one of the DJs who'll be there tomorrow at the CityAlive party: http://www.cityalive.sg/)
Okay, just some food for thought, was wondering whats up with the Anwar's sodomy trial, and did some googling, and here's what's new, if you're wondering.
Some interesting thoughts here: http://globalvoicesonline.org/2009/07/11/malaysia-anwar-ibrahim-sodomy-trial/

I particularly like the comments and views by Farish Noor here: http://www.thenutgraph.com/article-4361.html
He questions on how despite the wide prevalence of anal and oral sex, Malaysia can be considered to be backdated or 'antiquated' in today's time and age. Personally, I don't think its so much an issue of time and age, as it is of whats real and not. I would believe that anal or oral sex was probably as widely practised as far back in history as we would dare to venture as it is now, of cos I have no evidence, but hey, why the hell should we think otherwise? Wrt Anwar's sodomy trial, what's clear is, to me, its a clear political set-up, and I do hopw that the Malaysians see likewise too. Cos ultimately, the point is, whether or not he's gay/ has strange fetishes/weird by any societal norms, what's important is that will be inconsequential when it comes to leading a country. Yes, I do believe that some will most certainly beg to differ, peraps the idea of having a Gay/bisexual PM say for instance can be discomforting, but hey, why so? Are they more likely to squander off public funds, or less likely to develop their countries on the international front? You would have to agree that being gay/sexuality won't have anything to do with that, no link really. Frankly, if you think about it, of course no one really gives a hoot about what Anwar does behind closed doors, but perhaps the fact that he has in the history of Malaysia been successful enough to at least forge an opposition front to contest the already weakened Barisan Nasional has earned him the alarming attention of his political rivals, and made him yet again, the scapegoat and pawn in yet another strategic attempt to dislodge him. Even if he were to win the trial, and clear his name, what would that mean to the masses? Poor Anwar, I really do think he's been set up.

Other news: US-Tibet talks are according to China, going to severely impact on US-China relations. Personally I don't see what China's problem is. Sure, you're damn important, possibly the world's next hegemon and economic superpower, sure sure, so? Just because you've got problems with your Tibetan neighbour doesnt mean the rest of the world must follow suit. Grow up. Sheesh.