if my mum can go through all that shit, so can I. I'm strong enough for this, Inshaallah.

For all of us, especially Kai.

i need inspiration. pls.

or a holiday- where i can go kite-flying, bubble-blowing, sand-castle building, reading, drawing, painting, riding, swimming (ok not swimming), shopping, eating, eating, sleeping, sleeping, sleeping (repeated thrice for a reason), and urm just whiling away la.

what's life for? what's my reason for existence? not to ace my exams, do well in my career n build up my wealth. no no no. just to be happy and try to secure that ticket to everlasting happiness too- if possible.

sigh. Allah, save my soul.

What my YWLC girls think of me. :)

u know, I think no matter what, I am really passionate about my country and my first reaction to anyone's criticisms will be defensive. I think we have a lot to thank for, and that at times we get complacent and a tad too idealistic- forgetting that there was a great price that had to be paid for this success, this peaceful and stable state that we live in. a fren posted an entry on facebook about how she thinks there's so much more for singapore to achieve-(that I don't deny) but the fact that she made some sweeping statements like "our leaders live in a world completely isolated from ours" is to me- a sad sad statement. For 2 reasons really- firstly n more importantly, its the fact that ppl don't and can't truly appreciate the efforts of our leaders. Having worked closely with some of the MPs and ministers has made me realise that they do a great deal, so much more than meets the eyes, so much more than what is being recognised, so much more than what is being perceived. (which is the problem then isn't it? perception is reality to many. and thats what saddens me, cos i think they deserve more credit and criticism can only truly be justified when one can truly examine in totality one's claims n not just state smtg on worldwide social media platforms like facebook without proper justification. ok tbh, I am a wee bit close from fuming mad but emotions aside, I think the greater and underlying issue for our govt. then is marketing. they need to be better able to showcase the efforts and the great pains that they go to to ensure that we sleep well at night, that we can have faith than singapore as a nation won't just function well enough for us to survive but well enough to continue surpassing expectations, well enough to achieve success for the next 45 years of our lives.

sometimes I feel it is this success that has made us complacent, that has made us a tad idealistic without realising and without pausing to truly consider the sacrifices that had to be made to get to where we are. Sigh.

guess you can never tell. its just gotta feel right. at this point, it does. so that's all that matters.

had sushi party at susu's today, gg to visit grandpa's grave in the morning tmr and then off to the marina bay carnival thing, then tuesday off to school. back to school, everybody. gotta give it my best shot this round.

hahaha so funny. what? nothing.

ok i think i may be going mad. I just had a crazy verbal thrashing session from someone, wont say who cos I can't. But I just whined about it on my blog earlier (but saved it as a draft la, cant publish, sigh). I am sad. :(

anyway so funny, i read Kai's blog and, KAI, I know u read this and its funny. I think u should go to sydney btw. Its fun! :) But yeah la guess China wins hands down.

You know sometimes, the thing about ex-es is that because you know them so well, its easy to relate to their emotions, words and actions ( like u ask urself, now why does all this sound so familiar). I dunno if I make any sense right now, (blame the lack of sleep and post-verbal thrashing session), but I think knowing someone so well has its ups and downs.
Ups:
1) u can tell if they're genuine
2) u start psycho-analysing their actions n words, n sometimes wonder why they're the way they are
3) it helps in rltns
4) u dont just hear what they say, u hear the unsaid as well
downs:
1) u cant help but miss them on a more frequent (than necessary) basis
2) ur more emotionally vulnerable to their actions n words
3) sometimes u may be wrong. u may think u know them very well, and then start suffering from tunnel vision.

Ok i am hungry and I want the BIG SUBWAY sandwich in australia-some seafood delight thing.

PS: sometimes i wish i was a housewife living in italy with my own strawberry farm and chickens and sheep (though they stink).

PPS: Yes, this has got to be the most unstructured, messed- up entry there is in my blog and that's saying somehting. I just proved Mr Pang, history teacher from JC right. bleargh. somebody save me.

just while away.

Hi, would just like to share a thought.

I've realized that at times I avoid doing somethings cos I don't want to 'waste' precious time doing small things like maybe decorating my blog/ creating a blog/ writing other things or basically anything (could be anything ranging from surfing the net, browsing through facebook or random blogs, shopping online, listening to music, playing games or streaming movies off the net) that may be deemed unnecessary or a waste of time. But I've realised that the more of these things you avoid doesn't necessarily mean that you're using your time more efficiently. In fact, on the contrary, I think doing more of these small little "insignificant" things ensure that you're more fully occupied and pushed to make better use of the time that's remaining. Also, these things keep you sane because it means you're distributing your time between the 'serious' work stuff and other simpler things that can allow your mind to just while away.

This mix makes you a more balanced person. I mean think about it, even if you do avoid all these "inefficient" things, you'd end up being nothing more than a robot, no? One who's just crazily driven to maximise every single second for something more 'worthwhile' without realising that maybe sometimes, these inefficient things too, have value. The value to keep you sane, to keep you going and to keep fuelling your imagination. These things are necessary. So yes, let's not strike them off the list just yet or hastily categorize them as 'inefficient' and 'unnecessary' things to do.

That said, it is also important to note that acknowledging the value of these activities cannot and should not warrant us not to justify spending nearly half our lives whiling away. Its definitely also all about striking the right balance, though that begs the question of what then, is the right balance or mix? Hmm, think there's no one-size-fits-all formula or equation, its a subjective thing and your optimal balance of 'serious work' and 'play-time' can only come through experience. Adjust and see what your optimal balance is to achieve your end-goal (of cos, first you'll need to be clear too about what it is you want to achieve as your end-goal). :)

Ok, see, point proven. This entry alone holds testament to the value of just doing something "not-so-worthwhile" (i.e. blogging- at least blogging did fall under my list of "not-so-worthwhile" things to do). It has the power to translate one thought into a whole full-fledged topic. :)

Its the 31st of July!

hello yello! Its been some time, hasn't it?
Just returned home. Did mentorship selections & matching process with Angela & DC earlier from like 11am to like 4pm. (Tho I was late la. :( )

So anw, I'm back from Australia, expedited my return because I received the invitation to McK's problem solving test for the Business Analyst post and seeing as to how that's my DREAM JOB, seriously, I HAD TO COME BACK. :)

Anyway, I loved Australia, especially Sydney. Its a beautiful city, with the best cross and mix of nature and the modern man-made structures typical of most modern cities (yes, the actual beautifl landscape and seas and bays not the contrived type of nature- like the planted trees type). It felt a lot like Singapore actually, except the weather was better (at times, a bit too cold, especially the strong winds) and the air was definitely so much fresher. Oh, but one thing's that far different is that driving in Sydney's city is CRAZY. I drove btw, which is really in my perspective, quite asking for it, but hey you know me, I love to try new things and I had to try driving in the city. :) But the roads are crazy, long windy, and curvy, one wrong turn and you can say hello to an extra 15 mins of driving before the next turn. Nothing like Singapore, but hey one cannot compare like that of cos, cos Singapore's much smaller anyway. T'was definitely a great experience. I loved it! Was amazed at the cool parking system (cool because its different from Singapore tho I wonder if its the most economically viable and cost effective way of managing the carpark spaces. There, after a certain period (say 8pm, 9pm or 10pm (depending on what the carpark boards at that specific area says). u can park for free. And before you try to justify that by saying that Sydney is much larger and can afford that, that's not true cos we're talking about the city here, which definitely means there's limited space. Maybe they should take a leaf from Singapore and build a multi-storey carpark or smtg. Yep, definitely should. Haha.

Anyhow, what I would miss most? The time spent there with some special people, of cos. :) Had fun, not so much because of the places I visited (tho that does count too, of cos) but more because of the company definitely.

Anyhow was looking at the photos there and this has got to be my most favourite photo:Can you tell the white words written at the bottom left hand corner? Haha it says, "Sydney Opera House, 18 July 2010, Khairah's Photos (Reserved), muahaha. :) Nice right this shot? Love it.
Have many many other photos but too lazy la to upload all. Hope whoever you are, you're doing good too! Take care! Toodles for now!

wow, three days more and then,

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AUSTRALIA! :))