I just read someone's blog, and sadly I was referred to as that "fellow" in a most hateful way. I was tempted to msg her, to say that I know nothing I say will make her feel better but that I still do hope that she will be ok and that I am here if she needs me. But I realise, nvm la. Nothing I say will help. Maybe its best that she hates me, as long as she can be happy. I think teh best is just to stay quiet and pray for her from behind the scenes. Haiz. Its still sad btw, cos I don't deserve such hatred and vile curses against me. To be honest, I was re-reading my blog entries since I last broke up, and that entire year when I was neither here nor there with Kai, with my status with her totally unstable, nearly all my entries were hellish and depressing. Basically I transformed from this cheery happy go lucy person into a drary sad depressed girl, and I realise that I had paid my dues. Told Susu about it too, and I think its time I moved on. I'm glad I can. She ever cursed me, saying that she hopes I would someday feel what she felt, and gosh that hurt. Cos no matter how much you hate someone, I don't think you should curse that person. But its ok, I will tawakal to Allah, but I really believe that i paid my dues. If she wants to misunderstand, then so be it. I wish her well, still.